License to Plate

The Lost Bluetooth Battle

2010-01-19T16:06:00.000-08:00

The California legislature and Highway Patrol are playing a game of Tic-Tac-Toe and there is never going to be a winner. The California Senate Bill 1613 was signed in 2006 by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and put into effect on January 1st, 2008. Do you know what that is? If you read the title, you should see where I am going. The "Hands-Free" law.

The most common thing I see when driving my routine 45-minute commute between residences is the non-use of hands-free devices. I used to get mad at the driver and yell "get off your cell phone," more often then not, throwing curse words in between. Now ... I just laugh.

I got a Bluetooth headset when the bill was enacted. I turned it on when I knew I was going to be driving for more than five minutes or if I was expecting a call. If my phone rang when I didn't have it on, I just didn't answer my phone. But for most Californians, the law, and resulting penalties, don't seem to concern them.

Often I have told friends that the law had good intentions, but there was no proper way of enforcing such a common occurrence. The easiest way to avoid getting a ticket for this offense, is just hiding your phone when you see a police officer.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that last bit. I had to lower my phone because there was a police officer. What were you saying?"

Even though studies have come out proving the dangers of distracted drivers, motorists still choose to use their cell phones while driving. And with that negligence has come a lot of excuses. Let me try to debunk some of these arguments.

#1: I can use my phone when I have it on speaker phone, so I don't need a headset.
This is only true if your car is equipped with the technology to have the telephone conversation played through the car's speakers. If you are holding your phone in one hand and talking with it on speaker phone, you are not obeying the "hands-free" law. I'm pretty sure that is how it gets its name.

#2: The technology is too confusing and setting up a headset is too time consuming.
First of all, if you can't figure out how to set up the headset, then you shouldn't be using a cellphone when you are driving anyway. If the "technology" is too advanced for you to figure out after reading the instructions or asking a teenager, then maybe you're too old to be using one in the first place. Go back to smoke signals.

#3: Who cares if I get caught? The fine is only $25 for the first offense.
Unfortunately, this is true and I can't make a good argument. The fine isn't high enough to make people "scared" of using their phones when they drive, nor is it high enough to make people stop from doing it a second or third time.

Heck, the Governor's wife chooses not to follow the rules, so why would any of you? Right?

I Speed Silver & Black

2009-07-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

Here it is, the first installment of what will become a very common occurrence on this blog. The cornerstone of my new blog. The license plate spotlight. This is my very first one, so comments are welcome, but here we go.

The perpetrator: a silver Dodge Magnum with black racing stripes. There it was sitting in the scalding hot parking lot of the Dublin Best Buy. In case I was unsure of the fanaticism of the vehicle, it was adorned with a back-window filling Oakland Raider's sticker. In seven characters this driver let it be known that he was the biggest Raiders fan this side of the Caldecott Tunnel.

"ALDAVIZ" on this California piece of stamped aluminum is what it said. That is a reference to Al Davis, the Oakland Raiders owner and overseer of operations. The aging and possibly senile captain of the Silver and Black has lost a majority of popularity among die-hard fans since the team's return to the Bay Area.

This would not phase this fanatic, since his car could not be older than the 2002 model, the year the ugly car was introduced. Seriously it looks like a sumo sat on a Dodge Durango.

In seven characters, this person decided to enshrine his team and their senile leader. Don't get me wrong, I love the Raiders and have season tickets, I just don't think it was the best choice for this person to put the slightly Hitler-like owner on his car. And to spell it with a "z" instead of an "s" makes me wonder if there is a bigger idiot out there (or maybe Al himself) who has claimed the original spelling.

Who knows? It could be Al's son, I know he lives in the area, but putting your Dad's name on your car would be a little strange. Like making a Michael Jackson joke now that the King of Pop has passed away. It is OK, Al Davis is better at collecting debt. I just am not sure about the motivations of a person who chooses to put the name of an NFL team owner on their car.

Do you think this use of seven characters on a license plate is worth the extra money each year you have to pay to keep it? I don't think so. The person with the plate could have spent the money on something more pertinent, like parking at the Coliseum's lot. $20 a game adds up.

Second Transformers, Twice As Nice

2009-07-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

I saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen the other day and I thought it was fantastic. Megan Fox running around looking scandalous and Bumblebee kicking butt, it was awesome. So awesome, that it made me forget that I was watching a two-and-a-half hour Chevrolet advertisement. I am all for helping bail out a major corporation, but I have to say as a Chevy owner, that I was disappointed with a couple of the vehicle selections.

Bumblebee is the the Camaro Transformer, and like the last movie, I thought he was awesome. The other Autobot I was happy to see was Sideswipe (Movie version pictured). He originally was a Lamborghini in the cartoon version, but like Bumblebee switching from a Beetle to a Camaro, Sideswipe makes the transformation into the jaw-dropping Corvette Stingray Concept. Ratchet and Ironhide return as their original vehicles from the 2007 movie, a search and rescue Hummer H2 and a GMC Topkick.

The cars I was disappointed with were the twins, Mudflap a red Chevy Trax and and Skids a green Chevy Beat. The third disappointment was Jolt the Autobot who transforms into the blue Chevy Volt. The nature of these Autobots are small cars that work together to form a powerful combination. The twins ended up being a bunch of babbling idiots and Jolt ended up only doing one thing in the movie. The choices for their cars were what had me struggling to eat my popcorn. I loved the movie, but Chevy almost ruined it for me.

Other than my slight disappointment with a few of the vehicle choices for the Autobots I thought the movie was great and I can't wait for the next one to come out two years from now.

Box This Lap: Full Service

2009-07-14T01:34:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. I am back from my blogging break and I have decided (once again) to change the format of my blog. I tried for a while, while I was commuting via bus to campus, to try and write about my daily commute. While that plan didn't turn out to be a success, I found in its attempt my love for everything automotive. And the most common thing I come across on my daily driving (other than people who cannot drive) are those oh-so common vanity plates.

This is going to be the "new" shtick of my blog, while also talking about new vehicles, my own vehicle searches and professional motor sports. Sorry, no NASCAR here. I for one think it is not difficult to turn left for 500 miles.

Since I have changed the blog format, the URL and my blog name, I am hoping that you will hang in with me while I change around the settings and try to come up with a custom blog design that fits the new format. I have sort of a backlog on vanity plates that I am itching to get up on this thing and some will come real soon.

So make sure to drop in regularly and also add/comment about the absurd, funny, freaky and confusing vanity plates you see out there on the roads.

Only in the A.M.

2009-04-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

I woke up early for the first time in a while, and I couldn't go back to sleep. So I decided to go on campus early. How early. I think I beat most of the students on campus for their 7 a.m. classes. Other than my sheer absurdness for choosing to go to campus so early, especially when my class doesn't start until 10:30, I kind of like the morning ambiance.

All the crazy people are here, drinking their coffee and studying what seems to be molecular biology. I can't understand what they are talking about, but I read the cover on the test book. I don't know why I decided to adventure out so early this morning, but I like it. Well, I like it because today it is supposed to be 90+ again and it isn't hot out right now.

I also have a ton of work to do today and maybe I can convince myself that getting such an early start to day will help me complete my tasks. But we will see. I am the self-proclaimed king of procrastination after all.

As for what I am going to do for the next three hours, I don't know. I am just having breakfast at a reasonable time and maybe I will have a "Late" lunch, according to my roommate. That would be at about noon. That is a whole other story. All this brain power sitting around me makes me want to study. So in preparation for my mid-term tomorrow and on Wednesday, I will do just that.

'Till next time. Oh and the student cafeteria plays good music in the morning — The Who, The Animals, the Beatles and WHAM.

Update: I have collected a decent amount of license plate evidence for the blog I wanted to write, so expect that later this week.

A Slight Change In Content

2009-04-14T16:48:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while, you and I. It seems ironic that not too long ago I said I was back for good, just to throw you for a loop and be gone for multiple weeks.

But now that the countless pages of research papers and the endless amounts of poem analysis are over. I am, well ... I won't use the "B" word, but I am anticipating getting back into my blogging habits.

As far as the "Bus Ride of the Week" or BRW goes. I am going to can the idea. I have been getting to school earlier and earlier with each growing week and have, out of my own determination, eliminated the bus out of my commute.

Instead, I will take on new ideas stemming from one of the things I love most. Automobiles. I have found myself shuffling up and down the highways of the Bay Area for the last few weeks and I figured, "why not write about that?"

So here is my new idea. I will write more often if you keep checking in, and as often as I can, I will write about my love and some of things I hate about driving and inevitably the roads of a few East and South Bay communities.

So look out, you might see me snapping a photo of you driving with your cellphone, or my car traveling up and down your street ... if it reminds me of a famous race-track corner. The first topic I am going to tackle is specialty license plates. I have been gathering photos and debating whether I like them or not.

Until next time.

Clarkson's Doppelganger

2009-04-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I am not British, but each day I find one more thing I have in common with the esteemed Jeremy Clarkson. His latest review of the Alfa Romeo MiTo explains it all. You can read it here, or you can read the excerpt below. I will put in bold the things we have in common.

"I suppose that in the days when your fishmonger knew your name and what sort of cod you liked on a Friday, “brand loyalty” made sense. Now we live in a world of supermarkets and corporations, it is the most ridiculous thing on all of God’s green earth. No matter how many loyalty cards you have in your wallet.

That said, I am the worst offender. Even though I know Virgin is the best airline, I always try to fly BA. Even though I know HSBC is in fairly good shape, I bank at Barclays. Even though I know the new style of Levi’s reveals my butt crack when I bend over, I would still never buy a pair of Wranglers.

And this brings me neatly onto the question of watches. For some time now I’ve been on the hunt for a new one but the choice is tricky. I couldn’t have a Breitling because I don’t own an Audi. I couldn’t have a Calvin Klein because they are pants, I couldn’t have a Gucci because I’m not a footballist’s wife, I couldn’t have a TW Steel because my wrist isn’t big enough to sport something that can be seen from space, I couldn’t have a Tissot because I’m not eight and the only thing in the world worse than a fake Rolex is a real one.

Have you noticed something odd about Rolexes? Especially the modern ones that wind automatically when you move your wrist about? A great many owners wear them on their right hand. I jump to no conclusions here but you can feel free. (I agree)

The trouble is that for the past few years Omega has been the Pillsbury dough of Swiss watches. The Terry and June. Omegas were dreary. They were boring to behold. They were Vectras in a world of Ferraris and Lamborghinis. The De Ville Prestige, for example, was plainly designed by someone who had a black-and-white telly.

This filled me with despair. I wanted a watch. For the same reasons that I bank at Barclays and wear Levi’s, it had to be an Omega, and it just wasn’t coming up with the goods. It was like Leeds United. Once the home of Peter Lorimer and Gary Sprake but now an also-ran bunch of unimaginative clod-hopping no-hopers.

And then one day, in Hong Kong, I saw it. A new Omega. It’s called the Railmaster and it is a thing of unparalleled beauty. There is no button that owners think will call for help if they find themselves in a crashing helicopter on Kilimanjaro, it is not waterproof to 8,000 metres, there is no stopwatch, there is no swivelling bezel to tell you how much air you have left in your tanks and you even have to wind it up every morning or it will stop. Plainly this is a watch for the sedentary soul. The man with no hang glider or mini sub in his garage. I bought it in an instant.

And so it goes with Alfa Romeo. My loyalty to the brand began when I had an old GTV6. It let the air out of its tyres most nights. It would weld its twin-plate clutch to the flywheel if you didn’t drive it for a day or two. And once, it dumped its gear linkage onto the propshaft when I was doing about 60mph. The noise that resulted was extraordinary: a bit like Brian Blessed being raped. (Sounds like my Camaro)

Even the design was silly. It was a hatchback but the rear seat couldn’t be folded down because someone who’d had too much wine had put the petrol tank between the cabin and the boot. And the driving position had to be experienced to be believed. The only way you could get comfortable was if you had arms that were 6ft long, a compressed spine and feet attached directly to your knees.

You might expect me to say that I forgave it all these trespasses because it was so glorious to drive. But it wasn’t. In fact, not since the Alfasud has there been an Alfa which is demonstrably better than the competition. And now, of course, Alfa is just a division of Fiat.

However . . . I have argued many times that owning an Alfa is a portal through which all petrolheads must pass if they genuinely want to know what it is that differentiates a car from a toaster or a washing machine."

To read the rest of the review, go here.

Learn To Speak French

2009-03-18T23:47:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I am a huge fan of Top Gear, and if you have been around me blabber on about how much I wish I had Jeremy Clarkson's career, you know I am obsessed. So I can't help but post funny things about the show when I see them. This is a post from AutoBlog.com (they are also in my blog roll). Begins now!

Will Pierce has gotten it backwards. The goal is to get paid for watching Top Gear; instead, Pierce earned himself a hefty bill for catching up on the Best. Car. Show. Ever.

Pierce and his son were on a ski trip in France, where there happens to be a paucity of English-language television. To stave off the boredom, out came the laptop and its Vodafone data card. Vacation saved by Internet downloads of Clarkson and friends, father and son returned home to a £21,716 ($30,334.40) Internet service bill. Needless to say, the humongous charge was something of a surprise. Thankfully, Vodafone kindly waived Pierce's fees with an admonition to check his plan and whether it covers massive data downloads while in other countries. So, the next time you find yourself in foreign lands with time to burn and a hankering for some quality Stigtime, well... consider yourselves warned.

The Webs We Weave

2009-03-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

I put on my headphone to escape the sounds of my roommates. The Street Fighter II Turbo, the constant and never ending whistling from down the hall. Of which is the chorus from the same song for the last three weeks.

The sound of the blender at 6 a.m., the never-ending laughter when I am trying to go to sleep. The feeling of waking up in a freezing room. The paying for food I never see, or get to eat. The preparation of meals without gratitude. The few of many things I will not miss when I move out of my current living situation.

I used celery sticks for spoons in my peanut butter because all the other utensils are in the dishwasher, still dirty from the last three dinners. The bleeding of my ears from the music turned up so loud to drown out the annoying existence of roommates. The desire to stay on campus until late hours to avoid it all. Their lack of understanding of common sense — my declining level of patience.

The sound my car makes when I turn it on and it isn't the perfect operating temperature. The way it feels when running for more than five minutes. The way it dies in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

The way I am treated by my peers, the ignorance, the back stabbing, the undermining of intelligence. Who needs that now? I have the rest of my life for people to tell me what I am not made of. No more guilt trips from teachers on a bid for power. No more lugging 50+ pounds of books around and never using them even though they are "required."

No more ... no more interest in writing this anymore.

Gearing Up For St. Patty's Day

2009-03-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

St. Patrick's Day is coming up and everyone will want to drink some green beer. Ya? So what better to put it in than a St. Patrick's Day commemorative NHL pint glass? My girlfriend got me an NHL Shops gift card for Valentine's Day and I couldn't wait to go to the website to see what I could get.

If the San Jose Shark's merchandise store accepted the NHL Shops gift card I might have gone in person to get something else, but with shipping, it took care of any extra spending I could do. But I ordered my Sharks pint glass, and it arrived today and look at it! It is just stupendous. Beer, hockey and St. Patty's day, all rolled up into one. I couldn't think of a better gift.

Now if only I didn't have a night class on "Kiss me I'm Irish" day. Oh well. I can always have a pint in this awesome glass whenever I choose.

Check NHL Shops to find similar glassware and other "Green" merchandise in for your favorite team.

Speed 4: Life On The Highway

2009-03-10T14:47:00.000-07:00

I have an update on my Bus Ride of the Week story from last time. I thought my bus rides were bad from the park and ride lot to campus, but it seems my school's drivers have been outdone by the great folks at the Valley Transportation Authority.

What you can't see in the photo is my speedometer. If I could get it in my photo from my iphone, it would show you that I was doing above the speed limit and was passed by a city bus. I am not trying to get anyone in trouble, but come on? How fast does an in (or out) of service bus need to be going? Not that fast, unless it is trying to keep above 65 miles per hour, which on most California freeways is only possible in the two left lanes (if there are six available lanes).

I had my music up pretty loud when this happen and I was scared that I was in the filming of a movie (or possibly being chased by police). I quickly checked my surroundings and grabbed my trusty iphone to snap the photo. No motorists were harmed in the taking of this photo.

BRW: Who Drives The Bus You Are On?

2009-02-25T17:34:00.001-08:00

Today was a typical day, wake up, get ready and head out to the park-and-ride lot to go to school. What wasn't so typical about my morning was the way the guy drove the bus. Normally it is smooth with extra long distances given to stoplights turning red.

This morning? Three times I was misplaced from my seat due to a sudden stop. If people are falling out of their seats, you probably weren't paying attention to the traffic lights. Not to mention, shouldn't it be your priority to provide a safe mode of transportation to your passengers?

Seems like it should be an obvious answer, but unfortunately there are only three bus drivers that are any good, and two of them are ladies. They are nice, and appreciate when you thank them when disembarking. These are the people that make using the inconvenient park-and-ride lot not such a terrible part of the morning commute.

I normally don't pay attention to the driving techniques of the bus drivers, but this was unmistakably bad driving and it just made me wonder what the hiring process is for university drivers. It seems like you would have to be pretty qualified to drive around a bunch of students all day, but it doesn't seem like they interview of look for qualified applicants. But who knows, maybe transportation is part of the school's budget that is being cut back on.

I know this isn't that exciting, but this week was a very rainy and so a lot of the normal things that I might be able to see were hindered by the weather. And the rain really tore up the fatherhood billboard and now it has been replaced with some add for a local grocery store. But I am hoping that there will be something more interesting in the weeks to come, before I start dipping into my reserve material for Bus Ride Weekly.

Saunas Spotted On Campus

2009-02-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

No the headline doesn't lie. There are saunas on my college campus. All you have to do is go into a business building classroom. I have a 10:30 class in one, and although I usually get a decent amount of sleep the night before, the awkwardly warm temperature in the room resembles that of a warm bed in the morning — the kind you don't want to get out of .

It is sad because the class is not boring at all, instead the entire group of students spends more time fighting off the yawns and losing the battle with their eyelids, rather than being able to pay attention to the lectures.

I guess this is blog worthy because I feel bad for the teacher. On average, two people (one person is always the same guy) fall asleep in the class, being overcome by the friendly, sleep inviting warmth. I see the look on the prof's face when she sees him doze off, but what can you do when the heat is that overwhelming.

On the other hand, other classrooms are refrigerator and freezer-like. All the rain that we got the last couple of days seemed to amplify the drastic differences in temperature. Not to mention, excess rain water seeped into the underground storage for heating pipes and caused large amounts of steam to rise out from the drains and manhole covers. Also making the central heating system work overtime to keep the water pumping through those pipes warmer than the cooling rain water hitting the pipes.

All this adds up to our campus being too old and the administration having to cut funding to replace heating and air conditioning units. Which means, when the warmer months roll around, the heaters will still be on, and they will be switched over to A/C just in time for the heaters to be turned back on.

BRW: When A Man Loves A Billboard

2009-02-16T11:11:00.000-08:00

There are great advertising campaigns, making you laugh as you drive by, maybe go to the company Web site to learn more about their advertised product. But lately companies have been trying another method, trying to motivate people to become better people.

The folks at the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse and their website fatherhood.org have just that in mind, reminding parents, especially fathers, that your kids appreciate it more when you spend time to be a parent. They have made, in my opinion one of the funniest TV commercials in a while, and it sends a great message. Watch this.

And this type of advertising is working, it sends the message and people get a laugh out of it. But the companies other form of advertising that I have seen is billboard use, and quite frankly, I think they should have used a different photo for their billboard in down-town San Jose on 7th street.

(I need to take a picture of this so you can see it.)

The image shows a father chasing his "son" in a spirited game of tag or something. When I first saw it, I thought that the man was chasing a young boy and he is fleeing in horror. The look on the boys face is priceless. He looks terrified that this man is chasing after him.

I just think that if anyone in the advertising department took a second look at the photo this strange, awkward photo could have been replaced with better suited photo, like them walking hand in hand. But I guess you can look at it any way and make it a case for being predatory, especially when the main focus is supposed to be an older man interacting with a child.

I'm Back, I Swear!

2009-02-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

My absence from the blogging world is inexcusable. I finish my school semester and took a longer break blogging than I did away from educational institutions. But I have my feet planted and I am pushing through my last semester.

Last semester I was super busy, but I came up with a sort of weekly idea due to the monotonous schedule I had put myself into. On two of the four days I drive to campus I have to park in an overflow lot. And I found that a lot of funny tidbits about my day came from riding on the bus between that lot and campus. So I will be sort of doing a "Bus Ride Weekly" where I highlight some sort of hilarity I see on my five minute red-light infested travel to campus. Either on the bus or outside its windows.

I have a few things backlogged that I conveniently jotted down on my phone that I will use until I start hunting for more material, but I am thinking that this will be an "every Thursday" kind of thing, as I am done with the school week and have the most time to blog. But I am going to try every day to share something about what is going on in my world, especially highlighting the procrastination. But don't get your hopes up, I am already reading ahead for classes. I know, not my style, but we will see where things go.

Along with my bus ride weekly, I will try to take more picture of the things I see through the day and provide them with funny context as much situations present themselves.

So from now on, expect more from your procrastinator, I somewhat promise not to slack off. I just have to get into the whole rhythm of blogging again. Just a note, I don't have a weekly column anymore, so I will try to write a more drawn out post about something I am thinking about once a week, so look for those.

Oh yeah, I put the comic strip in there, because I thought it was a stroke of genius.

Raise and Win With A Pair of Jacks

2008-12-12T17:19:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of things about people you can tell just by looking at them. You might look at my bushy, uncombed hair and tell that I am lazy. Indeed, after towel drying my hair, I don't give it a second thought.

On the other hand, there are certain things about people that can't be told from appearance alone. Who would have guessed that O.J. Simpson was insane? In a similar way, people find it hard to believe I am an identical twin.

"There are two of you walking around?" is a common response. Jokingly, I hope. But it is true, my brother and I have identical DNA. There might only be seven minutes between our births, but our personalities are worlds apart.

Providing that bit of information brings about a plethora of questions, so I figured I would address some of these misconceptions.

No, we don't finish each others' sentences, and we didn't go to each others' classes when we were in grade school. We simply strived to be different.

When my brother and I look back on our childhood photos, we sometimes can't tell the difference between the two of us, which provided a reason for why we decided to grow so far apart from each other.

Before my twin and I went to college, we made everything a contest. When we were younger, we would wrestle - more like beat the crap out of each other - just to see who wouldn't have to sit in the back seat of the van.

Because of this long-standing competition, we grew to dislike, maybe even hate each other. Our relationship was as healthy as a custody meeting with a divorced couple - awkward at best.

We intentionally didn't do the same things, for the sake of being different. My mother would blame herself, but it isn't her fault.

It is just natural for two people who are genetically similar to try and be as different as they can. It allows us to form our own identities, which we did.

I stayed in California for college, and he got the good-neighbor discount on his tuition from University of Nevada, Reno. He wanted to drive a big truck, while I am satisfied with almost scraping the ground in my sports car. He chose to major in business, while I chose to live a life of poverty with journalism.

He likes his waffles on the crispy side, while I enjoy them closer to fluffy. His favorite car at the moment is the astonishing Bugatti Veyron, while I think the best in the world is the 806-horsepower Koenigsegg CCX.

He bought a yuppie Mac, but I have a powerful PC.

He roots for the Wolf Pack, while I cheer for the Spartans.

We have our differences, and we always will. But when it comes down to it, trying to become different people made the both of us grow closer. And in the same way we ended up liking some of the same things, from trying to be different.

Our tastes in music are somewhat identical. We both have brunette girlfriends - and no, they are not twins. And even though we don't cheer for the same college football team, we managed to be in the same conference. He has the bragging rights this year.

Even though we probably wouldn't admit it, we don't mind the other being around, dare I say enjoying the other's company. So relax, Mom, we turned out all right.

As for the question of who is the evil twin, we haven't reached a conclusion. But he does have a T-shirt that I accept as his confession.

Column for December 9, 2008. It is my material. © 2008

Journey to the Center of a Woman's Purse

2008-12-02T15:57:00.000-08:00

It is a week away from the beginning of finals and I can't think of a better time to stop complaining about the work I have to do. But I can't - I am the self-proclaimed king of procrastination.

The trouble is some people see the things that I do as a waste of time … like sitting on the toilet. I read somewhere (probably on the can) that over a lifetime, the average man "wastes" 394 days sitting on the throne. I think that most men would agree that those 56 weeks is a time to be cherished.

On the other hand, the eternity spent waiting for a lady to find something in her oversize handbag is not. While most women carry one, it confuses me beyond comprehension as to why.

The time spent looking for things that have fallen down below the amassed clutter is a true waste of time.

If I suspect that a friend of mine keeps her cell phone in a purse, I will just write an e-mail. I fear that 40 minutes of a Bon Jovi ringtone while she rummages around for her phone would end up with a few pissed-off people or a smoldering cowskin clutch - talk about a "Blaze of Glory."

I can't figure out why ladies need more than one purse and why most have 20. I was once told that it had something to do with the seasons, so I guess that means there are 16 more that I don't know about.

It is also said that a pocketbook can make or break an outfit. I happen to think that no piece of tanned cowhide will help the worst of fashion faux pas. But what do I know? I am just a man.

I am not familiar with the contents of these cumbersome carryalls, so over the weekend, while my sister wasn't looking, I took a peek inside her bag.

Floating on top of the ocean of hodgepodge was the mighty iPhone and some members of the makeup family. But as I dove under the epipelagic zone, I encountered a pair of large sunglasses and a school of used chewing gum wrappers. I was tempted to explore deeper into the abyss but retreated, fearful of losing a limb or being sprayed by an estranged pepper spray canister.

Had I ventured deeper, I may have come across currency from a country that doesn't exist anymore or a prescription for a medical ailment that cleared up years ago.

I know things tend to get lost in bags of females, so I keep waiting to read interesting headlines in junk-news tabloids.

"Paris Hilton finds bones of past pet Chihuahua in Prada purse." Or "Secret al-Qaida hideout found in Laura Bush's handbag."

I can hear the ladies screaming right now, "We just want to be prepared!"

Well, that is all fine and good, but do you need cough medicine for kids you haven't had yet, or eyeglasses for astigmatism you haven't been diagnosed with? Just ask a man.

I don't leave my house without my phone, wallet or key ring, all of which can fit inside the pockets of my jeans. The great part is that I still have an open pocket to hold a rolled up copy of a newspaper. That comes in handy when I am spending quality time on the commode.

Column for December 2, 2008. It is my material. © 2008

Defeating the "Green" Purpose

2008-11-25T15:48:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere that the average speed of passenger vehicles driving during times with no congestion is around 75 mph in California. And residents of the "Golden State" are still complaining about fuel prices?

If drivers started driving 55 mph, they could reduce fuel consumption and the impact it has on their bank accounts. As much as this information is pertinent - Sammy Hagar predicted it - they can't drive 55.

I found myself behind a fuel tanker on Interstate 680 last week, and I admit I was moving too slow. But I tailgated tanker trucks the entire way to my folks' house and found my gas tank happy and more full than usual.

While gliding along in the slow lane, I noticed a strange phenomenon. Toyota Prius drivers were having trouble staying out of the fast lane. It wasn't because some had the diamond-lane OK, by way of clean-air vehicle passes, but instead their drivers couldn't keep the accelerator pedals off of the floor.

Hybrid owners beware: Just because you have one, doesn't mean you are saving the environment. So, you folks who drive 90 mph on the freeway in your "green" vehicles, you're not helping the environment at all. In fact, you might as well be flipping the bird to the leader of global warming awareness, Al Gore.

By driving your hybrid car that fast, you are defeating the purpose of having one in the first place. The fuel efficiency of a hybrid comes from using the electric motor, which only is used in times of limited power demand. Since the Prius has the aerodynamic qualities of a wedge of cheese, on the freeway it is always in demand for power that is supplied by the gas engine. So driving above the speed limit makes hybrid users just as guilty of polluting the atmosphere as Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Hummer.

It might be trendy for people to appear environmentally friendly, but if you bought a Prius for its looks, you might want to lay off the greenhouse gases. But automakers are starting to change the way consumers think about "green" vehicles.

The electric car company Tesla Motors produces an electric sports car capable of reaching 60 mph from 0 in 3.9 seconds, with thoughts of making a faster model. Dodge has dropped the production and development of future Dodge Vipers and has replaced it with the EV, a two-passenger, rear-wheel-drive sports car. The only problem with these zero-emissions vehicles is that you would have to spend around $100,000 to "do your part" in saving the environment.

The upshot to dropping the down payment on a house is that you won't have to buy gas for your car again. With that money, you could send your kid to engineering school and have her become the genius who invents the saltwater-powered car.

Electric and hybrid cars are not the solution to global warming, and maybe that is why I see most of these hybrids exceeding the speed limit.

But if there is any hope for solving the problems with the world's dependence on oil and fulfilling Al Gore's prophecies, then we should start looking at our driving habits.

If things keep going the way they are with global warming, I am going to start saving up for a solar-powered houseboat.

Column for November 25, 2008. It is my material. © 2008

Five Digits of Freedom: Finally Getting A ZIP Code

2008-11-19T13:02:00.000-08:00

Column for November 18, 2008. I know this is a lazy excuse for a blog post, but it is my material. © 2008

Those yuppie hipsters in Beverly Hills just revitalized the hit teen drama "90210" and I couldn't be less interested. Bringing back the historic ZIP code proves that people often don't think about the five-digit region they live in, unless it is famous.

Tommy Tutone immortalized the unforgettable phone number in the song "Jenny." I apologize if you start belting out 867-5309 at your dinner table this evening. But unless your city is famous, most people across the country don't know where you are. You could argue that California, from Oakland to Sactown, the Bay Area and back down, became famous in Tupac Shakur's "California Love."

Unless you're constantly standing in lines at the post office, you may be unaware of your local ZIP code, let alone your neighboring town's, but that is not the case for folks in Larose, La. They have been traveling to their neighboring town's post offices to get their mail for four decades, according to an Associated Press article.

According to that same article, beginning Saturday, "the 7,000 or so who live in the town can start using 70373 and should soon receive letters and packages in their roadside mailboxes for the first time."

This bit of news really made me think about how I take the post office for granted. In the last two and a half years, I have lived in three different ZIP codes, but because of their design, I have received all the mail sent to me and rejoiced when I received my first articles of junk mail.

While there are certain things about the U.S. Postal Service that make people scream, like identity theft and countless amounts of coupon pages, these are things that the citizens of Larose have not had the experience of pulling out of their end-of-driveway boxes.

Now they have the joy of experiencing everything that comes with owning a mailbox. Like having it knocked over by a reversing truck or a disgruntled teenager with a baseball bat. As well as the occasional animal or insect that decides to make its home inside or the possible ridicule from neighbors that dislike your flamboyantly pink piglet mailbox housing.

The children of Larose will now get the chance to try and hide their report cards from their parents. Magazine subscriptions can be read on the day of delivery instead of on the day that you had enough time to go to the post office.

Members of the campus housing community may be sympathetic to Larose's plight because when I lived in Campus Village Building B, I often found myself saying, "But my mailbox is all the way in Joe West."

According to the AP article, "Residents petitioned for years to bring a rural route to the area, but the switch wasn't made until a recent survey showed widespread support, said Daisy Comeaux, spokeswoman for the U.S. Postal Service."

If only the survey would have been conducted 40 years beforehand …

So, congratulations, citizens of Larose, you no longer have to go to the neighboring town to get your mail. Now you have entered into a world of global identity that includes possible anthrax letters and Victoria's Secret catalogs.

I Just Don't Understand Tarantino

2008-11-15T17:03:00.000-08:00

Like my previous blogs have mentioned, I have to catch up on my blogging, so I am going to catch up with number three on my list.

3. I watched "Reservoir Dogs" over the weekend and I will give you my review. Mainly how I don't fully understand Quentin Tarantino.

This excessively bloody, vulgar and violent movie is what Quentin Tarantino was looking for when he directed the film. It continues his successful line of movies that make audience laugh, cringe and scratch their heads.

The laughing is induced from the hilarity of some of the over-the-top gore and contrasting situations the characters are placed in. The cringing comes from an abundance of grotesque violence that is visually and audibly terrifying. The sheer amount of blood involved could make blood banks happy for years.

But the third point, the point I just don't get in Tarantino's masterful design is the cut-and-paste format that he uses for the majority of the film. To me it is a distraction from the forward progression of the plot. Some people love it, some people hate it.

I am split. I like the idea of doing the puzzle piece movie style because it makes the viewer try to put everything together, much like a jigsaw puzzle, but you try to put it together before the movie puts it all together for you.

On the other hand, I don't like it because the movie is going to solve it for us anyway. I have seen plenty of good movies that have forward progression and hit on the plot twisting tales in real time, or through flashbacks. You might know this as the "Oh factor." The point in the movie where you go, "Ohhhh, I get it now!"

As for the movie review, I liked it enough not to turn it off ... the second time. I began the movie and felt it took too long to get moving. Also I felt that poor Mr. Orange has the unfortunate roll of bleeding to death the entire film. Two hours of barely moving and profusely bleeding from the stomach must have been an awkward script to read and accept. "Yes, I want that role!"

The movie has an amazing cast, minus Tarantino casting himself like usual. The cast of Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn, Steve Buscemi and Harvey Keitel do a great job of filling Tarantino's expectations, but frankly, I think they were a little too low. This movie could have been a classic bank-robbery-gone-wrong movie, but instead is just another decent rental for a slow, lonely Friday night.

I can see a lot of people disagreeing with what I have written because, like I said, you either love him or you hate him. So, I guess I hate him. Drum roll please...

Verdict: (3 of 5 stars) - Pictures and stars to come, when I get to my desktop.

You're Either Blind or Retarded

2008-11-13T17:02:00.000-08:00

Like my previous blog posts, I have to catch up on my blogging, so I am going to catch up with number two on my list.

2. Why are all new cars getting xenon and halogen headlight bulbs? And why does almost everyone use their high beams more than their normal driving lights?

An open-ended letter to drivers everywhere,

Ahem. I am talking to you the annoying driver. Yes you! The one who uses their high beams all the time. Yes you, the person who spent money on brighter headlamps but still can't see without your high beams. There are only a few explanations I can think of, and I will shoot down your excuses. Here we go.

You may argue that when no one is around, you use them to be extra cautious, hoping to see that animal or unsuspecting bend. Well, tough.

Every person has to drive at night with the possibility of hitting some form of wildlife or not judging a turn correctly. But that is why speed limits are created. They are designed so that in case of an emergency (like a deer running n the road) you have ample distance and braking ability to stop in time. Besides, when you use high beams, you always forget to turn them off when approaching another on-coming car.

Another argument that is common is older drivers who complain about their poor eye sight. No offense, but if you are over the age of 60 and wear glasses, there is a good chance you shouldn't be driving when it gets dark out. If a driver is having trouble with vision while driving, then just turn around and go home.

I have also heard the argument that in bad weather it is OK to use high beams. This couldn't be farther from the truth. In rain and fog it is a terrible idea to use your high beams. In most cases you will be making the situation worse for other drivers. In fog, all high beams do is brighten the condensed moisture in the air. The higher amount of light at an elevated level with the more dense particles that are picked up by the light create a wall of glare that reduces visibility.

Basically it is a bad idea to keep selling cars with high intensity light bulbs. The people that have the money to buy the more powerful bulbs are the ones that use their high beams too often and who do not turn them off.

For the sake of other car drivers everywhere. Learn how to drive with your running lights only.

A Night of Politics, A Week of Hell

2008-11-11T16:11:00.000-08:00

Like I mentioned, I have to catch up on my blogging, so I am going to Catch up with number one on my list.

1. The election review, where I was, what I was doing and why the election has ruined my social and blogging life.

Obama Wins!

So I spent my entire election night furiously reading stories for the paper the following day. Around me, fellow editors and writers huddled around the TV, watching the poll results file in and CNN projecting the outcomes of states.

My colleagues and I spent the entire week creating a voter's guide, informing students of the propositions that were available in the Santa Clara County, and it drained us.

Some of the staff writers managed to keep us entertained through the entire ordeal, live blogging the election coverage and adding their own tidbits of humor. The occasional photo of the presidential candidates in funny or awkward situations. The good stuff always arises during humor.

The infamous moment that will live on in Daily humor came with CNN's use of a hologram of Will.I.Am. CNN thought it would be smart to have a hip-hop artist give his views of the idea of an African American being elected President.

I think that was why they had him on, but I don't remember because everyone was laughing too hard. Mainly at the fact that one of the live bloggers posted a picture of R2-D2 from "Star Wars" projecting Princess Leia's message to Obi-Won Kenobi.

But after the elections were over, most of the Daily staff was excited and happy it was over, because the majority of us were up until the early hours of the morning each day, providing the campus with political information. It was debatable if they cared or not.

A Look at the Blogs to Come

2008-11-09T15:28:00.000-08:00

I have been really busy since the election, so here are the blogs sitting in my draft box, or are being worked on for the upcoming week. Just a warning, I will not have much time to work on things for the next few days so, don't expect to see anything new until as early as Friday.

1. The election review, where I was, what I was doing and why the election has ruined my social and blogging life.

2. Why are all new cars getting xenon and halogen headlight bulbs? And why does everyone use their high beams more than their normal driving-night lights. My prospective.

3. I watched "Reservoir Dogs" over the weekend and I will give you my review. Mainly how I don't fully understand Quentin Tarantino.

4. And I am working on a column for two Tuesdays from now, since I don't have one this week because of Veteran's Day. I might give you a sneak peak, or write something completely different. Check in to find out.

You Voted: So Now What?

2008-11-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

Hooray, it is Election Day. Wear that "I voted" sticker with pride. Whoopee. You possibly voted, are planning on voting later today or have decided not to vote. Good, congratulations on participating in the democratic process. But now that the election is soon to be over, what are you going to do?

Will you remove that McCain & Palin sticker from your car's bumper? Will you still be wearing that "Obama for Change" T-shirt in three months? Chances are that you will lose all interest in politics until the next election - that is OK too.

Think about all the fun things that will happen between now and the next time most people in the United States turn out to vote in the 2012 presidential election. You may get the chance to see four more baseball teams make it to the World Series. Possibly even your team, Cubs fans.

By that time, California will have a new governor; well at least we hope - hope for that person not to be an actor/actress. Gavin Newsom may still be the mayor of San Francisco and the heartthrob of middle-aged women everywhere. But at least you can rejoice over the reduction of political junk mail.

But let's think short-term right now. What about in the next three months?

Hello, holidays. There is Thanksgiving, the second of the festive eating occasions, being a little less than one month after most of us swore off eating candy all together. And yet we stuff our faces until we can't manage another bite. At least no one phone banking for a political party will be calling and interrupting the family feuding.

Unfortunately, before you find time to take the election sign posts out of your lawn, Christmas and other December holidays arrive, continuing the tradition of eating food that isn't good for us and overindulging on sweets until we convince ourselves to go on diets.

What do you know? Just in time for New Year's, a time to make promises to yourself that you most likely won't keep, much like the lofty promises of high school presidents … or nationally elected ones, come to think of it. But at least this gives you something to look forward to, something other than election campaigns.

But just because the elections are coming to a close doesn't meant you have to stop being politically active. How about getting involved in local elections or joining campus political organizations? Just because the presidential elections are not around doesn't mean you can't become informed.

You can become informed on anything if you do some initial research - research I hope people did about the propositions on the ballot and the presidential candidates.

Becoming more informed can help with things such as the calorie count of the syrup and marshmallows used on candied yams, the maximum number of light strands you can string together on a Christmas tree and the number of drinks that can be consumed on New Year's before you find Dick Clark attractive.

So find something to get passionate about and stick with it. Just remember that if your political party didn't win this election, say what the Cubs fans have been saying since 1909: "There is always next season."

Nothing Cool about "Cool World"

2008-10-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you hear about a movie and something about the film makes it appealing. That something was there with Ralph Bakshi's 1992 creation "Cool World." I had seen "Who Framed Rodger Rabbit" when I was younger and figured the blend of animation with human characters would work.

I was sadly mistaken. This overly sexualities, almost soft-core porn (and somehow PG-13) movie just was a waste of 102 minutes. Right from the start, the movie doesn't make sense and any attempt to clean up the plot throughout the movies makes it worse.

Frank Harris played by Brad Pitt is a solider who returns form home from fighting in a war who get literally sucked into a cartoon. It is explained that he entered "Cool World" when a scientist Dr. Vincent tries to enter the 'Real' world and the process backfires.

What makes this movie strange, is that Pitt's character doesn't play the lead male role. And instead is Jack Deebs, played by Gabriel Byrne, who is an incarcerated cartoonist who created the comic "Cool World" while in prison for killing the man who he found sleeping with his wife.

Deebs is leaving prison because he has served out his sentence and in the midst of trying to go back to a normal life, he gets pulled into his own creation by lead female role and main sex symbol, Holli Would, voiced over and played by Kim Basinger. There is a lot of travel between the real world and Cool World, so let me try and sum up this crappy movie.

Basinger's character wants to leave Cool World and go to the real world so she can have men there give her everything she wants. Her plan is to sleep with Deebs in Cool World which would make her a real person and then have Deebs bring her back with him into the real world.

Harris, who has become a police officer in Cool World tried to stop this from happening and also tries to convince Deebs he is being used, but fails because of the man's built up sexual drive.

Anyway, the plan doesn't work. Deebs figures out she is using him a little too late, and Pitt tries to save the real world by stopping Holli Would. For the sake of this moving being SO terrible and it not being worth talking about anymore, I am going to leave it at that.

I wouldn't watch this movie if the president asked me to watch it with him. It was that bad. I don't have a zero star rating, so it will have to suffice with a 1.

Verdict: (1 of 5 stars) -Don't even bother seeing this.

Waiting for Some More Originaltiy

2008-10-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

Column for October 28, 2008. I know this is a lazy excuse for a blog post, but it is my material. © 2008

It is deja vu all over again. Or at least the lack of originality in Hollywood makes me feel that way. Movies are created from popular books, TV shows are dragged on until the 20th season or producers "reinvent" a classic TV show. As I surf through my 74 channels of television, I think that nothing new is being produced these days.

I seldom get to watch television anymore, but when I do, a monotony of programming is available - endless hours of unoriginal material. I wouldn't say that all of it is crap, but my favorite example is Jerry Bruckheimer's "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation." I have to admit that I liked the first version of this show, but became slowly annoyed with blatant spin offs of the show. "Same idea, different city" must have been their production motto.

Another example of this lack of effort from the screenwriters is "Law & Order." Again I am a fan of one of the particular versions, but how many different sub-series can you make Mr. Dick Wolf? What is next? "Law & Order: Animal Cruelty Victims Unit"?

But it is not just the endlessly continuing series that are adding to this bleak existence known as television programming. We can also blame the brains behind revitalizing older TV shows. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to bring back "Knight Rider" without David Hasselhoff was severely mistaken.

Sadly, the sampling of content doesn't end with TV. When I look back at the last 10 years of movies, I can't think of more popular movies than the "Lord of the Rings" and the "Harry Potter" series, both of which are interpretations of now well-known books.

Yes, these movies were made because of their popularity, but can a guy ask for some original thinking? The last good movie I saw in theaters was "Eagle Eye," but to be honest, it felt like a more mobile version of the theatrical disaster "Phone Booth."

I understand that there was a writers strike last year and that some things are created solely based on their popularity, but I think the world can do without "High School Musical 3." If anything, it makes me feel like we are all just a gullible group of movie-going idiots, taking whatever the movie producers throw at us just because the flick has a new title.

But we are partially to blame for the existence of big-screen blunders. Bruckheimer's trilogy, "Pirates of the Caribbean" is now being extended with a fourth and possibly fifth and sixth version. Why? It could be because Jerry found a new aspect of the popular Disney ride that he hasn't explained yet, but probably because it is making him a boat load of booty.

The sad part is that it doesn't end with movies. Producers of video games are beating the proverbial dead horse by re-releasing titles with yearly changes. The most notable being the Madden series, coming out with a new game each year with the allure that each team has all the correct players and up-to-date statistics. Is that why they have Brett Favre on the cover of Madden '09 in a Packers jersey?

I know you might question if I have a point, and I do. I will not go to the theater or turn on the TV until there is something compelling to watch. If people keep making movies from books I have read and TV shows from the ones my grandmother used to watch, I am not going to go to the theater or turn on the TV. If the creativity doesn't start flowing from Hollywood, I have a feeling that writers will start killing their audiences if they keep "stickin'" to their guns.

"Who Need Reasons When You've Got Heroin? "

2008-10-25T23:34:00.000-07:00

I have been lazy and didn't write the 'Trainspotting' review until now. I can't say I thought up all the material on my own. Thank you IMDB for refreshing my memory of the plot.

Mark "Rent Boy" Renton played by Ewan McGregor is a young Edinburgh heroin addict trying to kick the nasty habit. The only problem? His friends, his job and his desire for "one last hit" keep him injecting the needle. Along with his friends, he is trapped in an urban underworld of despair.

His family tries to keep him clean, resulting in house arrest against his will. Even though his struggles and friends bring him back into a fantasy world, Mark always is looking to make something more of himself, other than a junkie.

With that in mind, Mark sets out for London to make his fortune, and at first he does well - he successfully gets a job in a property lettings agency and starts to pursue his new life. However, his old friends won't leave him alone.

First to arrive from Edinburgh is violent alcoholic Begbie, who is on the run after an armed robbery gone wrong. Soon Mark realizes that his old life is going to be hard to leave behind.

When the possibility of a major heroin deal tempts the others, Mark finds it impossible to isolate himself from his friends. As he is the only one of the group they all trust to test the drugs, he is also going to have to face temptation again, the hard way.

Based on the 1993 Irvine Welsh novel of the same name, 'Trainspotting' is a gritty, realistic look at the world of the urban drug addict. Although the subject matter could be off-putting, in this film it is handled with surprising sensitivity, neither glamorizing drug use nor condemning it.

Instead of being a film about drugs, it is really about the characters, all of which are fully developed and extremely well played by an outstanding cast. Young Ewan McGregor shows astonishing emotional depth in this, the breakthrough role that possibly made him the actor he is today.

The look of the film, and its direction, perfectly portray both the gritty reality of addiction and the surreal aspects of an addict's life.

I know it took a while for me to review this movie, but I liked it a lot and think most people (18 years and older) would to. I am going to add it to my movie collection. Definitely worth seeing, just not with your mother or on a first date.

Verdict: (4 of 5 stars)

Chalk It Up To Karma

2008-10-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

I have a story about karma. Some people argue that when you have something wrong done to you, and that person who wronged you eventually gets wronged, that is what most people consider the idea of karma.

It is not the spiritual definition that some adopted, but in any case, this is how karma is seen. Now let me preface the story with a description of the situation.

On Thursday, I parked my car in the overflow lot. I had been having a bad day — A late night before and an early morning, full of "You forgot to" statements. I was greeted with either, "You forgot to ..." or "Are you alright." Most likely from the raccoon eyes and the half-dead look.

So to say the least, I was not in a good mood and was just looking to get back to my car, so I could go home.

I was walking from the journalism building (the center of campus) to the bus stop, which happens to be at the southern most point of campus. It was hot for an October day, somewhere between 80-90 degrees.

As I round the last building that separates me from the bus stop, I see the bus almost full of people and looking like it is ready to go. So, in no mood to run, I increase my walking pace and head toward the bus. As I pass the door of the Science building, it swings open and a woman wearing heels and on her cellphone runs my feet over and slammed my ankle with her rolling backpack.

I apologize to her even though it wasn't my fault, hoping that she would apologize for the hit-and-run. Instead she bursts out, "Damn right your sorry!," then proceeds to tell the person she was talking to on the phone that, "Some damn idiot walked right into me."

I was furious, I had what seemed to be a welt forming on my ankle and this b*tch was telling me that I did her wrong in some way? I felt like calling her every dirty name in the book, or throwing her piece of sh*t rolling backpack under a bus, but I kept my cool.

Because her sideswiping me, we both did not make the bus. And I sat waiting for the next one while she bitched and complained to the person on the phone with her that I was the cause of her day being hell. A football player has seen what had happened and was talking with me about it, both of us laughing at the situation and, even though painfully, the bruise on my ankle, now somewhat purple.

So, the next bus came and she got on the bus and I did not. There was no way in hell I was going to get on there and risk sitting in an ear shot of her. I would have snapped her tiny little, blond-haired head off. Not like it would be difficult, since there was probably no brain in there.

Besides, I was too busy laughing because she got on the wrong bus ... And there karma for you folks. This woman was in such a rush to get back to her car, that she got on the long route. The one that goes all the way around campus from that entry point, before going to the parking lot. The one that takes an extra 45 minutes to get where she was intending on going.

Had she not been complaining so much to her friend on the phone about what she claimed I did, she might have noticed two things. One being that the red sign on the bus said long route, and that the majority of people standing around the bus station were not boarding with her.

My ankle is fine, just took a half hour of an ice pack to make the swelling go away. Probably in less time than it took miss drive by the time to finally get back to her car. In the words of a famous college newspaper designer. "Dumb b*tch!"

Future Foe Scenarios

2008-10-22T19:24:00.001-07:00

There are certain things about people that bother me. One being talking about things you know nothing about and the other is uncleanliness. I have lived with some messy people and I think that is the main reason that I am a neat freak. Their excessive filth has made me into Mr. Clean's crazy cousin.

All roommates do things that eventually get on your nerves. Everyone has these things, and I am sure that all of my roommates have things about me that they don't like — Like coming home late every morning.

But one of my roommates has created a sh*t storm in our house and has no intention of ever changing his ways. This roommate has a disorder of a phobia or something. It is something like the fear of finishing something, or the fear of washing dishes. I think he has Genophobia, but you will have to look that up on your own.

It is hard to explain what it is that is driving me mad. So I have collected evidence to show you what is bothering me. Starting with...
This is a photo I took in our bathroom. I have the luxury of sharing with this guy and he is a complete idiot. When the toilet paper starts to run low (about two sheets from the glued piece) he will take the roll off and put the almost finished roll on top of the toilet.

This would be fine if he used the pieces, but instead he starts using a new roll and leaves the old roll for someone else to use. Over winter break he accumulated five of these almost-empty rolls on top of the toilet. My other roommates and I told him not to do it anymore, but he stopped for a few weeks before returning to his paper-wasting habits.

This is funny because he is so stingy that he tells us not to waste but then won't even finish a toilet paper roll. It is almost like he thinks that if he finishes it, he will have to pay for a new roll or something. Which would make sense ... if he helped pay for paper products in the first place. Freeloader!

Second on my "should be slapped for" list is...
If you can't make out the image, just click on it, but this is the dirty plates in the sink complaint.

The dirty roommate must have a phobia about getting soap on his hands because he hasn't washed a dish since we moved into our new place. This particular dish sat on this side of the sink for three days. And he walks past the kitchen sink in order to go to his room.

If this wasn't bad enough, when he does have the consideration to try and wash his plates, he puts them in the dishwasher (still with caked on food) and then waits for someone else to start it. My other roommates and I have been washing our plates after eating in an attempt to make him start washing his own dishes ... To no avail.

I think he is doing these things just to piss the rest of us off. If that is the case, then it is working.

Here are two other examples of the his foolishness:

The photo of the bread bags is a confirmation of him not being able to finish anything. In this case leaving the ends of loafs of bread in the bag and opening a new one. The other is what happened when we confronted him about his dirty dish in the sink. He lifted up the side of the plate to drain off the water that had spilled onto it (which helped him partially wash it) but shows the mess he left in the sink. Inconsiderate jack*ss.

Maybe that is why no one wants to date the guy. If we can't stand him, I don't see how a lady could.

The eBay of the Police World

2008-10-21T12:45:00.001-07:00

My column for the weekly newspaper, for the publication date of 10/21/2008.

Imagine yourself at a funeral for a loved one and he has just been taken from you. The funeral home charges you for sending that relative to the greater beyond. That is somewhat normal; you set aside money for a funeral and want it to be respectful.

Now imagine the funeral home sells off the valuables placed in the coffins.

That is a comparison I link to a police collaboration called Property-Room.com that sells seized and unclaimed items.

I was watching the 10 o'clock news when I heard about this service. Property Room specializes in the auction of stolen, seized, found and surplus goods and vehicles, serving more than 1,100 law enforcement agencies nationwide according to its Web site.

Initially, I thought this was a good idea. Police departments need space in their inventory rooms and have few options to help clear out acquired items. When watching the news report, the reporter showed viewers the assortment of items, from power tools to designer handbags. Jewelry, cameras and even out-of-service-police cruisers are available for bid on this site. What could be better than a boosted gravestone?

The way the story was presented made me feel like the police were providing a service that was of benefit to the general public. I was terribly misled.

Sure that laptop or that beat-up Honda Civic was previously in possession or used by a convicted felon, but what the heck, a car for as cheap as $500, what's wrong with that?

In my opinion, this site is a misuse of the Internet by some police departments. The items that are available for auction have been cleared for sale by the department after an "attempt" to return them to their original owners.

This site gives police departments an excuse to not try as hard to return items to their owners, with the incentive of bringing revenue to the force.

According to its Web site, Property Room harnesses the power of the Internet to quickly move items out of police property rooms, reduce personnel costs and generate revenue well beyond traditional police auction methods.

It sounds like an ideal situation for both cash-strapped consumers and our boys and girls in blue, but is it a greed-driven ruse?

I feel their problem with available space could be solved with a couple more man-hours in the checking of property serial numbers and increased awareness of seized property that needs to be claimed.

A few years back, my sister's car was stolen and her personal belonging were taken from inside the vehicle. She filed a report with the local police and didn't hear back from an officer for a while, eventually getting a new car considering the old one lost.

After purchasing the new vehicle she was told that her car was found and was almost sold in an auction when a representative of the towing company who found the car finally checked the serial number.

I am not tar-and-feathering the police department. They do a good job serving and protecting, but this site seems to go step to the side of the basic services of the police department.

Is it right to sell the inventory items when they are the stolen property of someone else?

If you are browsing the pages looking for something that was stolen from you, the Web site also offers a service through a sub-category called stealitback.com. The stolen goods repository can help theft victims be reunited with their stolen property by checking serial numbers of recorded auction items.

Again, why should you have to search to find your stolen goods? Wouldn't you like a little help in finding your missing merchandise? Isn't that the idea behind filling out a police report?

I Could Have Been Wrong?

2008-10-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

So this morning I turned on my car and half way down the street I realized that my post from Thursday could have been all for nothing. I complain and complained about how Californians drive too damn fast.

But something is probably wrong with my car as the photo above shows. Oil leak, or my car is burning oil. That or the guys who changed my oil last put the wrong oil in.

However it happened, I am not looking forward to the cost of things it could break, so I am changing the oil myself as soon as I have free time. I did it when I was in high school auto shop and I am pretty damn confident that I will not screw anything up.

I have a theory that the guys that work on cars for companies are told to create problems that will appear after 3,000 miles after the service. After all, if they fixed it like they were supposed to, the would be out of a job.

Anyway, in a stranger note. I got my phone bill and from calling my girlfriend in London, I managed to spend $462 dollars. So I convinced the representative that I was unaware that "talking in the same network was not free outside of the United States." So I only paid $32 and $3 more for to change my plan so that I pay 28 cents-per-minute to talk internationally.

A Coma Inducing Weekend

2008-10-19T21:15:00.001-07:00

This weekend was possibly the most loaded four days of sports I have ever had the pleasure of viewing.

Thursday night was a freakish reminder that the Red Sox don't know the definition of the word defeat even though I still want the Rays to go on and win the World Series.

Friday I got to sit around and watch the Sharks play the Anaheim Ducks, even thought they lost. There were some great hits and scoring chances, but no goals.

Saturday was hectic to say the least. I was rooting for my college to defeat their division opponent and maintain first place. They were away, so as I sat in a bar eating dinner before going to the San Jose Sharks vs. the Philadelphia Flyers, I watched them on TV as well as game 6 of the ALDS, again with Boston showing that they will not accept defeat.

So we went to the Sharks game. Walking to get dinner I got to give a high-five to TV broadcaster and host of Shark Byte, Drew Remenda as well as one of my professors.

And as you might have seen from picture from my iphone above, I had amazing seats. Row 1 next to the penalty box. I was banging on the glass as Jody Shelley of the Sharks and Riley Cote of the Flyers got into a fight. You might be able to see me in my white jersey around 27 second into the video. Also clapping when they show Shelley after being separated.

It was a great game and the sharks won in overtime.

Then after getting home late, I was off to the Oakland Raiders vs. the New York Jets in Oakland. I got there early and tailgated with my folks and my uncle Bob. And then again I witnessed a good game (wasn't that great) that also went into overtime. The Raiders won when kicker Sebastian Janikowski made a 57 yard field goal to win in overtime. That field goal being the longest in Raiders franchise history.

So I had a good weekend. My teams won except for the Sharks on Friday and the Rays on Thursday and Saturday, but ... the Rays won tonight and are going to the World Series.

Lead Foot Nation

2008-10-16T16:51:00.000-07:00

While driving home, I found myself perplexed by a question. Is my car slow? I drive a 90s Camero and consider it to be a relatively fast car.

I was not sure is there was something wrong with my car, or if I was driving too slow, but people were passing me on the left and the right and my speedometer said I was going 75 mph.

I like to cruise at a speed that keeps my revs decent and doesn't kill my fuel economy. I have found that happy medium to be 75. I get where I need to go reasonably fast and I don't feel like a convicted felon fleeing from police.

Now that you understand how I drive the freeways, you might understand my concern. How is it that people pass me at excessive speeds and not seem to care?

I felt like the slowest car on the freeway, changing lanes out of the fast lane to let people pass me. Eventually I pulled into the slow lane and sat behind an big rig until I felt like I was crawling along then moving back over only to be bullied back into the slow lane.

I wouldn't be upset about this if the cars were Mercedes, BMW or Corvettes, but instead I was being passed up by the Prius army. I saw more hybrids pass me than future hookers at a Texas beauty pageant.

I was stunned. Two things ran through my mind like a raging bull, almost forcing me to pull of to the side of the road.

"Why Priuses?" I asked myself, "How could hybrids be choosing to go that fast?" After all, I was under the assumption that everyone who owned a hybrid cared somewhat about the environment or lowering their fuel consumption.

By driving your Prius at 90 mph, your defeating the purpose of owning one. You might as well syphon out half of your fuel tank when you get home, because all your doing is wasting it.

So drive slower, I read somewhere that if you drive 55 mph (drive behind a big rig) you can increase your milage range up to 30 miles per gallon.

If everyone in California wasn't in such a damn big hurry all the time, maybe they would consider this. But telling people here to slow down is like taking a bottle from an infant, they just cry and cry and cry until you give it back to them.

Do Not Pass Go; Do Not Collect $200

2008-10-14T17:28:00.000-07:00

Rolling dice in a game like Monopoly has few consequences. The worst thing that can happen is landing on a hotel-loaded property owned by an opposing player. The dreaded Boardwalk and Park Place, that is, unless you own them.

Toward the end of the game, if you manage to not give up in frustration, players trade off taking chances, landing on each other's properties until eventually one person emerges victorious.

With the current economic downturn, it makes me wonder if the CEOs and heads of companies can distinguish real life from the board game businesses they are running.

Banks need bailouts yet owners are receiving golden parachute plans and some corporations are laying off more than half of their employees to stay afloat while the CEOs buy new yachts.

In a game like Monopoly, the bank has all the money and players try to obtain amassed wealth by bleeding other players dry - unlike the U.S. economy where the banks don't have any money to give out anymore, leaving the general public rolling on a board full of "chance" spaces.

Forget about a bank error in your favor. Instead of collecting $200, the Federal Reserve reaches into your pocket and pulls out your share of the $700 million bailout, leaving players hoping to roll into jail or pass go. Only one of them exists in reality.

Just like in the game, the guys who own the top-tier properties are making suckers out of the thimble and race car but are not prepared to cover their losses if they land on someone else's fully-developed dominion.

Even though there are laws that prevent companies from having full control of the market, it doesn't keep them from trying to create the dreaded "M" word. It wouldn't surprise me if at board meetings of large companies, the business strategy sessions included hypothetical business acquisitions arranged on a Monopoly board.

These are the same people who play with company-owned aircraft like their own personal shuttle service, having them ready at all times to take them to "emergency budget meetings" in Aruba. It would make sense that they are good at moving player pieces in a circle around a square board.

So what do CEOs do with all their extra money? Some of them are somewhat humane and give some of their extra wealth to charities. But, do they give enough? After all, there are no tax havens in Monopoly.

Sure they don't need to give everything they make to the less fortunate, but some thrill seeking by the wealthy is being taken to new heights. And by thrill seeking, I don't mean rolling consecutive doubles.

According to an article by the Associated Press, Richard Garriott, game designer and son of U.S. astronaut Owen Garriott, paid $30 million to the Russian Space Agency to be a passenger on the sixth tourist trip to the International Space Station. The designer made his fortune from the computer game, "Ultima Online," another game that you can play for hours and not accomplish anything.

This type of absurd spending could have gone to a greater cause. In the article, Garriott said he spent the money to fulfill a childhood dream. In my opinion, he could have spent the money to help fulfill millions of children's basic desires: a winter coat, a new pair of shoes or possibly some board games.

With the current economic situation, multi-gazillionaires need to help the less fortunate more than ever. Helping the underprivileged would be giving them a much needed get-out-of-turmoil-free card.

Tisk Tisk Warren Beatty

2008-10-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you can get a feeling from a movie that gives you a preconceived notion of who it is going to be. I desperately wanted this movie to be at best an OK movie. Being one of the comics I liked to read when I was a child, there were hopes and aspirations for the 1990s adaption.

To be frank, it sucker punched me in the testicles within the first five minutes. Let me explain.

There is a certain ruggedness that the Dick Tracy from the comic book carries around. He is tough and square-chinned and ... a bad ass. And Warren Beatty, you are not. I do wish I had your first name, but your acting and directing in this movie was not to be desired. If I could offer a suggestion to you before you made the film, I would have casted someone other than yourself to play the lead role.

The story is a compelling one, because it involves some of the famous mob bosses of the series. In particular Big Boy Caprice, played by Al Pacino, and his sometimes loyal assistant Mumbles, played by Dustin Hoffman.

Tracy's main squeeze in the flick, Tess Trueheart, played by Glenne Headly who I know from Sgt. Bilko, does a relatively good job playing the innocent but vulnerable love interest, minus her squeaky voice.

The only other character worth mentioning from this over-anticipated movie is the role of Breathless Mahoney, played by Madonna. And may I say, Modanna was hot when she was younger. Too bad time has not been nice to her. Although Alex Rodriguez doesn't think that.

Madonna plays an up-and-coming singer in the city who is struggling to grab the attention of Dick Tracy. She makes numerous attempts to persuade him, all sexual in nature, but Tracy is steered toward his true love, Ms. Trueheart.

Madonna is partly to blame for the bleakness that is this movie. She sings songs in the movie for more than two-thirds. I swear it is a big Madonna music video. After a while, I muted some of her songs until we saw moving lips, other than Madonna's.

In the movie, Tracy plays a detective trying to get rid of the mobs in his city. He eventually gets some of the mobsters to talk, and tracks down and arrests the henchmen of Big Boy Caprice.

As you might assume, everything turns out fine in the end after a few drastic plot twists. Also as you might imagine, being rated PG-13 and the main characters name being Dick, there were numerous penis jokes that flew under the radar.

In one scene, the mobsters tie up Tracy and set a buildings piping system to blowup. While leaving the building before his henchmen, Caprice says, "dumb Dick," an intentional misuse of the name to imply an explicit phase.

Shortly after, the henchmen leave the building, skipping toward the car saying, "30 seconds, no more Dick! 30 seconds, no more Dick!" While this is not vulgar in context, my room mates and I chuckled ... because we are immature. Occasionally, while working in my room, I will hear that particular phrase uttered as someone walks down the hall.

We were also hoping that 30 seconds later the movie would end...

If someone offered me this movie for free, I would have to decline. I have seen it once and would rather not see it again. Later this week I will review "Trainspotting," whenever Blockbuster send me the DVD.

Verdict: (2 of 5 stars)

Long Time Coming

2008-10-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

I know I have been absent from the blogging scene for almost a week, but a lot of things at the newspaper and over the weekend kept me from updating all of you on my happenings.

Over the weekend a day of making up for lost sleep kept me in bed until about noon, followed up by a day of catching up with the things I needed to do before noon. I did watch another Blockbuster movie and was planning on doing a movie review, but the flick was the 90's version of "Dick Tracy" and am hesitant to make references to genitalia.

I also spent the weekend handing out copies of the special section that my paper produced, which kept the editing staff in the newsroom until 6 a.m. I still think I have not recovered. In more interesting news, I got to go to a LAN party this weekend and have decided it would be wise to share my nerd-dom with all of you.

So we networked our computers together and blasted off into the junk food consuming world of first-person shooters and real-time strategy games. The occasion? Usually because the group has time to meet and our schedules don't conflict. The reality? It was our friend's girlfriend's birthday and she wanted to host a LAN.

For all of you who don't know "Geek," and LAN stand for local area network, which is a way for nerds to hook up their computers to one another and play games against each other, while having an excuse to eat crappy pizza and to drink a lot of soda.

Normally we would play through the night, switching up games based on energy level and amount of interest in the current game, playing straight on through the morning. We used to play for a couple of days, but the reduction in personal hygiene would get to us and now being sleep deprived as a college student we don't have the stamina ... for that kind of action.

So we played a couple hours of StarCraft, followed up by some Half-Life: Team Fortress "the Hunted." If all of this is over your head, then you probably aren't reading anyway. We drank more than five two-liter bottles of soda. Keeping us awake and ... focused?

At the end of the night we packed up our computers into our cars, cleaned up our messes and then traveled back to our homes to re-set up our computers and make it to bed before 2 a.m.

So, as you can see by the tangled mess of Ethernet cables and pizza boxes, we have a good time. Even though we play video games for hours, sometimes days, we at least have good, safe fun. At least we aren't out drinking and driving, or vandalizing homes. Besides we could be addicted to worse things in life. Right?

Protection for an Infectious Staff

2008-10-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

Every once and a while at our daily newspaper we get some free promotional stuff that companies are hoping we can somehow integrate into story ideas.

The most common pieces are movie media kits, CDs to review and occasionally some funny material.

Well our good friends at Trojan sent us over some samples of their products for whatever reason, most likely in an attempt to have us promote safe sex on campus.

After the laughter subsided, we realized just how much stiff, I mean stuff they had sent us. And after pulling one box out, realized it was just the 'tip' of the iceberg. Sorry I can't help but make phallic references.

The opportunity arouse to acquire a box or two of the contraceptives, but then I realized that my lady friend was in London until the middle of December. Even though their expiration dates were well beyond the scope of my current predicament, I decided to forgo the penile protectors.

We continued to laugh at the assortment of condoms they gave us and to top it all off, they put it inside a big black sack (That was not intended to be dirty).

On top of being random and the fact that they didn't include a letter, left us confused but satisfied. No one has taken any, I guess in concern that they will be labeled fornicators, which isn't an entirely bad thing in my opinion (As long as it is in the realm of legality).

As I look at the table where all the products were placed, I see that they are all gone. Maybe someone took advantage of the opportunity for worry-free fornication supplied by our friends over at Trojan.

When Technology Hurts In The Classroom

2008-10-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

Here is my column from Tuesday, October 7, 2008.

You know those parents who use television as a babysitter? They have been considered responsible for the rise of child obesity and the early development of attention deficit disorder.

I hold the ____ Wireless Laptop Pilot Project that was introduced in 2003 in the same regard.

According to the Web site, "_____ Wireless Laptop Pilot Project is committed to creating a dynamic and collaborative educational environment that enhances teaching and learning, creativity, scholarship and global connectivity through a wireless laptop initiative."

To me, this is a giant leap for mankind … in the wrong direction. The campus has a wireless Internet service that allows students and faculty to surf the World Wide Web almost anywhere on campus.

While this is a marvelous luxury, students and professors are grasping the laptop initiative with the wrong frame of mind. The project is supposed to "enhance" teaching and learning. All I seem to notice is blatant misuses by both parties.

All too often I witness students in my classes, who claim to be taking notes, blasting off into the crap-filled cyberspace. Gmail chats, Perez Hilton and any other time-wasters appear on the lithium-ion powered windows to the Web.

Some could claim to have A.D.D., which was a feasible excuse in high school to doze off during a lecture, but not all the students I see wandering off into the Web can be suffering from a deficit of attention.

The Pilot Program's Web site also talks about creating "global connectivity through a wireless laptop initiative." If anything, it is making people less interested in learning about the world around them, instead making their social circles more close-knit through instant messenger.

The misuse of laptops in class ends with the students, but begins with regulation by the course instructors.

I have been in classes that allowed them, banned them or didn't care either way.

I think classes that don't allow the use of laptops are correct in having them banned from students' composite-wood workstations. Pen and paper work just fine for taking notes and, in my opinion, help the material become internalized.

Professors are setting up classes to be more laptop-friendly when they should be making less of their lectures require technology. Sure, papers need to be written and PowerPoints need to be produced on computers, but these things can be created outside of class.

Students should not use laptops to take notes and teachers should not use their computers to give lectures. Teachers who use PowerPoints to teach classes should use them as supplements to lectures instead of substitutes. I have seen lectures given word-for-word off of the projections instead of the PowerPoints being used as visual aides.

So the (university's) laptop initiative becomes a circular argument. On one side, there is a desire to make our campus "green," paperless and more computer-friendly. It seems like an ideal goal if there was a way to remove the students' desires to wander beyond the realms of Microsoft Word.

I understand that in some medical and special needs cases that students need laptops for classes. And I am fine with that; I am just against the improper use of laptops in classes.

Also, some classes require laptops and include them in a list of course materials, for instance, some journalism courses. But other departments such as math and science don't need to make digital lectures.

Think what you want about the use of laptops in class, but I think the (the university's) Wireless Laptop Pilot Project is an excuse for students not to pay attention in class and for teachers to not have to teach the curriculum.

Underscores and parenthetical replacements used to remove personal references.

Double Trouble

2008-10-05T23:53:00.000-07:00

Last night, I went to the movie theater and saw "Eagle Eye" staring Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan and Billy Bob Thornton. "If you want to live you will obey" is the wicked slogan and creation of director D.J. Caruso.

This fast-paced, confusing mystery was entertaining and worth the student-rate ticket price.

I don't think this is a big part of the movie, so I will elaborate a little bit about something that pertains to me in the movie. This would be about addressing the common questions asked about twins. Yes I have an identical twin brother; I am older by seven minutes and our names are not "Pete and Repete."

In the movie, several times, they bring up the connection between Shia and his brother. I don't want to make a public statement for all male twins, but my brother and I have never been that close. Partly because while growing up, we were forced to do everything the same. Our parents got us the same clothes in different colors, we got the same haircuts until we were eleven or twelve and had to be in the same classes until we got into middle school.

All of that made us grow apart. The close proximity didn't make us grow into a close knit bunch, instead we became the two most competitive people anyone knew. If it could be a competition, it usually ended up that way and that is the opposite bond that is portrayed between Shia and his brother in the movie.

My twin and I used to joke that a close relationship between twins was always reserved to female twins. The ones you hear about who share closets and have "twice the number of outfits." Yeah, we aren't like that. We don't end each other's sentences and we never went to each other's classes to take each others tests.

Neither did we try to fool people. We might have been the least fun group of twins when it comes to using our unique looks to fool people.

So this movie portrays twins as well as the "Parent Trap" made it believable that there were two Lindsay Lohans.

I think I would have liked this movie more, if they didn't butcher the role of the twin brother in the movie. Although, while watching the "flashback" videos in the movie, I felt somewhat sympathetic for LaBeouf's character who was good at things, just overshadowed by the success of his brother. I was that type, where I saw us being similar and chose to be the opposite to become an individual.

Other than my particular temperament toward the twin aspect of the movie, I thought it was relatively interesting. The idea that "Big Brother" is looming over you and can use your technology to hear what you say and see what you do at all time was creative.

Some scenes were predictable and because of that became funny. Occasionally making me laugh in a quiet, intimate moment. I would give this movie a shot while it is still in theaters. Also because there is nothing else good out right now.

The Thomas Crown 'O Contraire'

2008-10-03T02:32:00.001-07:00

This weeks queue, "The Thomas Crown Affair" (1999), arrived on Wednesday but had to be put off until (yesterday) because of work. So her we go!

"The Thomas Crown Affair", directed by John McTiernan is a late 90s re-make of the original 1968 version staring Steve McQueen.

Thomas Crown, played by Pierce Brosnan, is a wealthy company owner who has expensive tastes, hobbies and collectibles. He finds joy in expensive things and as he says, "everything is obtainable."

Crown enjoys playing games of wit in hopes of obtaining things he desires. He could buy them, but what is the fun in that? A little game of cat an mouse keeps him on his toes and keeps office lounging, paper signing, boring work life interesting. He is single and alone, a position he feels could be filled, but only by someone who challenges him mentally and would enjoy playing in his games of deceit.

He meets his match in Catherine Banning, played by Rene Russo, an insurance re-claimer/bounty hunter, sent to investigate the theft of a Monet painting. She figures out quickly that Crown is the witty burglar and spends her time trying to beat him at his own game. She works her magic and uses interestingly sexual tactics to obtain enough information to put Crown behind bars.

Michael McCann, played by Denis Leary, is a New York detective who is assigned to the robbery case. He plays the smart cop who figures out everything except for what the suspect will do next. It was nice to see him in something other than a stand-up bit or "Rescue Me." He plays a good, honest cop trying to solve the case.

The game that Brosnan and Russo play, tests both their characters limits of trust and commitment ... to their personal interests. Each one is led on a wild chase through each others' traps, mostly Banning through Crowns.

Without giving too much away, the curve balls the story throws at you will keep you wondering what is next. And is a good movie to watch if you are looking for a late 90s romantic comedy. I would not suggest watching this with kids around because it is rated R for sexual content and adult language.

To give my verdict, I must remove my Pierce Brosnan James-Bond-fan bias. One moment please ...

Verdict: (4 of 5 stars)

Is Anyone Checking These Links?

2008-10-01T16:29:00.001-07:00

I found another strange thing while on the Internet. While on my Gmail, I found this link scrolling on top of the e-mail client. Ms. P beat them to the punch, but I think it it funny.

Last Minute Photo Work

2008-09-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

Today, it dawned on me that I had put off my photo assignment for too long. So at the paper I found a willing participant to be my subject. This is Allie Figures and she is a reporter on the Daily with me, and was kind enough to "pose" in photos that I was supposed to pick a random subject. Thanks Allie.

Who's Your Sponsor, Yeah Baby!

2008-09-30T10:23:00.001-07:00

I just found this on the Arizona Daily Wildcat's Web site. I think it is funny when things fly below the radar. Check out the links in the sidebar.

Column: Renters Beware, Landlord Off Leash

2008-09-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

"Insert column here." I know it is another column insert, but it is for a good reason. I am doing this for people who don't know which paper I work for, and those who are interested in my weekly column but have trouble reading it on paper. But here is what is 'grinding my gears' this week.

How did Fred Flintstone pay for that lovely string of pearls around Wilma's neck? The folks at GEICO assume he saved money by insuring his family vehicle with their company.

I think he may have been getting the extra income from taking advantage of college renters in the town of Bedrock.

A little more than three weeks before the Fall semester began, my roommates and I received terrible news. Our landlord could no longer pay for the house and was going to sell it back to the bank, or at least that is what she told us.

We started looking for new places, slowly packing up our things, preparing to leave the residence as soon as we found a new one.

With help from Craigslist, we checked out four- and five-bedroom houses for the five of us. We spent whole weekends looking at houses and filling out renters' applications, only to be turned down because we weren't "qualified."

When broken down, "qualified" as a renter really means who the landlord likes best. Being five college guys, we carried around the I-will-destroy-your-house stigma like a mosquito carries the West Nile virus.

Constantly being shot down because of renters' discrimination, we continued looking for places. We had no choice. It is illegal for landlords to deny a renter because of his or her appearance, but how do you prove something that is their word against yours?

We dressed nice and shaved our faces, made sure we showered that morning and brushed our teeth three times each, but it still didn't help our chances. Sadly, we were forced to move up into another price range and start looking at more expensive properties.

We ended up finding a nice place to live, but it came on the wings of good fortune. By good fortune, I mean we had a realtor sympathize with our situation, having a college student of her own who went through the same situation. Also, the landlord lived in the same town where four of us went to high school.

So we cleaned out our old house and went back for three days in a row to make sure the place was in better condition than when we moved in. We left it, in what we thought was better-than-before condition and started moving into out new place.

Almost two months later, we received our security deposit. Some renters already know this ironic phrase to mean a "free remodeling" deposit. It's also an ironic combination of words, like social security and civil war.

Sure enough, we had received a little more than one-sixth of the initial deposit.

"How could that be? We returned the house in good condition, right?" we thought to ourselves. "For a landlord who was selling the house back to the bank, they sure took a lot of money out of our deposit."

We quickly contacted our previous landlord and asked for a breakdown of how the money was used. She came back quickly with a list of things in the house that needed to be replaced and/or fixed. All of the figures were nice and large, rounded and without receipts.

The sad part is we don't have photographic evidence to prove that the house was given to us in poor condition, and that is the difference between us getting all our money back and waving the white flag of defeat.

If you live on campus and are looking to move or you are a renter and might face the same circumstances, take photos and make a list of the things wrong with your place before, or as close to the date, you move in.

Provide a list of blemishes in the house to the landlord and have him or her hire someone to fix or repair them. Before moving out, if you can afford it, hire a cleaning service to come in and make the house look like new. Before you leave, take photos of the place and show them to the landlord during the final walkthrough.

Usually, when it comes to landlords, the nicer they are, the more they want your money. If you feel like you might be in this situation, start documenting things that might get you in trouble and pay for them now, instead of later.

In my situation, my roommates and I paid $250 for "backyard repairs." When we went over to check it out, they had only mowed over the poor excuse for a lawn.

When in doubt, check it out. You might save enough money to insure something with GEICO.

(Photo of the crappy backyard coming, when I get back to my desktop.)

Does this Blog Make Me Look Fat?

2008-09-29T20:32:00.000-07:00

Bullocks, I have figured out the double meaning of everything at the news paper. Yes I work there, but it has taken several weeks of observation and experimentation to sort out what is double-speak and what is not.

This parallels well with the stereotypes of having a girlfriend. (No, not about YOU). For instance, when a girl asks a guy, "Does this dress make me look fat?," even if it does, we don't have the desire to be in the dog house and answer politely, "No, you look great." Chances are that your guy will say no, no matter what because he doesn't care all that much about how you look with clothes on.

In the same way, my colleagues answer questions and act with the "expected" responses, being nice and non-controversial, while behind your back, spew outrageously horrendous sh*t about you. And when I say "you," I am talking about me. My insecurities just put me in that, most-hated-person-in-the-room mode.

Other infamous double speak is the oh-so popular, "I liked it." Referring to things written. I write a weekly column and give it to others to read, to get their feedback. I have a trusted source of critique, but she is bias. But when I ask other colleagues, I get a quick glance over, with a just-as-quick summation of "I liked it." — You can be hard on me, I mean come on! We are journalists for Christ's sake.

In roommate news, tonight I was watching Monday night football when the Hendrix-wannabe came back from what looked like a short, exhausting bike ride. He must have been wearing the flashlight on his head for traveling in the dark.

He went in his room for no more than three minutes, only to emerge from behind his white-shuttered door and said, "can you lower the volume a little," and without an answer, retreated back into his room. I was so pissed that I just turned off the f**king TV and went to my room.

The guy plays his guitar at 8-0f -10 volume on his amp and is asking me to lower the volume on the TV? It wasn't even close to being loud. It is not my fault that mister dog ears picked the room with the echo-prone wooden floors. I almost told him tough sh*t, but was too angry to look at him.

My plan this week, to make his life a living hell. Tomorrow night, when I emerge from the newspaper, at whatever time that might be, I am going to make myself dinner. And he can complain all he wants, but he started it.

As for car news, Audi revealed the 2009 A4 last week and confirmed that it is still a luxury sport coup that I want and cannot afford. Until next time; "Help control the pet population; have your pet spayed or neutered."— Bob Barker

Revenge of the Vacuum

2008-09-28T13:59:00.000-07:00

Look around you; find something that is blunt, heavy but manageable. Now try not to run down the hall and bash your room mates head in. That is the predicament that I am in right now. I have the instigated motivation to barrel down the hall and knock him out cold.

Room mate trouble are nothing new for me, I just know that I am a neat freak and, like most other college guys, my room mates are really messy. I had been waiting for the kitchen to be magically cleaned (via. my lazy room mates), but it got so bad that I just decided to clean the place myself.

I began around lunch time and while I was cleaning, all of them came into and left the kitchen without helping. I thought the slamming of shelves and cooking ware was a signal that I was upset that no one was helping me.

From beyond the walls of the kitchen, after just seeing me clean, I heard my room mate begin to play his guitar. I was going to have my revenge.

I cleaned the entryway to the house, a dusty area where everyone leaves their shoes. Instead of breaking out the dustpan, I swept everything onto the rug and then got out the vacuum cleaner. Then began to vacuum the entire front room, banging the vacuum up against the door to the Hendrix-wannabe room mate.

I am sure he noticed since I almost broke open his door in the process. Surely I did not need to vacuum the front room, but the ruckus that it makes appeased my disdain for him ignoring the fact that I needed some help cleaning.

I am done now, but I am going to do my best next time to not clean it up. In fact, I might make it unlivable for them, hopefully forcing them into cleaning it.

These guys are so lazy that, when I get home from the paper on Wednesday night, I have to take out the trash cans, at 2 or 3 a.m., because they "forgot to."

Anyone have any ideas of how to make them change their ways? Or maybe have a suggestion for me on how to outlast their disgusting-ness. Either way, here is the result. Too bad I didn't get a 'before' photo.

Technology Is Making Us All Stoopid

2008-09-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

Every so often I find myself wondering where all my intelligence went. Is there a secret off-shore account that is storing my random knowledge, or is it being held ransom somewhere in a damp, poorly lit warehouse?

Recently I have been saying things like, "What was his name?" and "You know! That guy in that movie," in the process making my brain cells run around like escaping convicts during a prison riot.

The more I keep telling myself that my brain is "too full" and that it is just throwing away useless information, the more I want to be able to recall the average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour. (It is about 61,000 … at least that is what I used to think it was.)

So, before my brain throws away the point of this column - I think that technology is making us all numb.

I mean dumb.

My cell phone has helped me forget everyone's phone numbers, my iTunes can make a better playlist than I can and my computer catches all my spllegin errrers.

When I was in elementary school, there was a directory that had all the students' numbers in it, which I would use to call friends. After a few times looking through it, the book became useless because I had memorized all the pertinent numbers.

Today, I struggle to remember my girlfriend's cell phone number. I have always known it as phone, favorites and at the top of the list. I have managed to memorize the number to call the police, but it being only three numbers gives it an unfair advantage.

My phone keeps my important digits saved, letting me browse them by last name and also allowing me to pull a Ms. Cleo, freaking a few people out when I answer by addressing them by their name.

"Hello Tom, have you called me now far yar free readin'?"

If anything, using a cell phone has made me a more effective call screener.

I don't pick up for numbers I don't recognize and if a voicemail isn't left, there is a good chance I'm not calling them back.

Then there is the computer: a high-speed moron that can calculate and recall any information, unless you put it in the recycle bin. But there in lies the problem.

On the first computer I owned, a 1990 Macintosh SE, I took the entire hard drive and placed it in the on-screen trash can, in an attempt to clean it of any programs my parents had not removed. Two clicks later, the screen went black and the computer never turned on again.

The computer had not short-circuited my brain yet; I was just too young to realize what I was doing. But as I write this, my computer tells me that I am spelling a word incorrectly, or that I am using poor grammar and warns me if I have mistakenly created what it thinks is a fragment.

By changing my misspellings and fixing my grammar, I can't learn from my mistakes, which wouldn't make me a very good copy editor.

Even though things have become easier because of computers, work done on them tends to be critiqued at a higher level. Make a typo in your resume - forget about that job interview. Make a punctuation error in your manuscript - expect ridicule from the publisher.

When authors used typewriters, if they made a mistake, usually there was an angry removal of paper followed by vigorous crumpling. While typing that sentence, I used the backspace button four times.

I was going to say that TV and video games help with the itinerant-brain inactivity, but everyone knows that already. Not to mention the unbearable amount of unfiltered, un-sourced information on the Internet.

I would give you the number of blogs created a day, but thanks to last week's lecture on the Cornelius effect, I think I forgot it.

So, as I keep doing crossword puzzles and reading books to gain knowledge, I am hesitant to think that I have reached the limit on available space on my mental hard disk.

For my sake, I hope I don't forget the account number and password to my off-shore memory banks.

Caffeine Hallucinations

2008-09-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

You know you have had a long night when you can't focus enough to tune the radio on your drive home. You know you have also had a long night when you resort to slamming multiple energy drinks.

I am beginning to think they are killing me slowly. Last night I drank a Monster and a sugar free Red Bull. When I got home from the paper at 1:30 a.m. I felt like I was going to die. Increase heart rate and rapid eye movements. I was freaking out, worried about why I was sweating in a 58 degree room.

I called the lady, waking her up and feeling guilty about it, but I didn't get to talk to her that much yesterday. After that I got ready for bed, carelessly stumbling, almost falling after not completely removing my leg from my jeans.

Then I saw it, just as I threw my laundry in the hamper. The biggest, hairiest spider I have ever seen, sitting on the inside frame of my closet door. Further increased heart rate made me feel dizzier than I already was.

In a moment of clarity, I grabbed my shoe and smashed the hell out of the thing ... or so I thought. I pulled the slipper away, checking the bottom to confirm the kill, further freaking myself out when I could find no spider-goo residue. I was sure I had hit that thing with the force of a sledge hammer on a thumbtack, but no confirmation.

I practically torn down my closet trying to find the thing. Resulting in a thorough search of my bed and carpet. Also resulting in me sitting in my bed like a scared three-year-old child. Waiting for it to show its ugly face.

To no avail. A caffeine induced hallucination, a headache of mind-confusing proportions.

I ended up going to sleep with the eerie feeling of things crawling on me. Not the way to start the day, since it was already 3:30 a.m.

Being lazy (Like a fellow blogger described)

2008-09-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

I know this is lame, but I have nothing else to write about at the moment. Today I have gotten good feedback about my column for this week, so I am going to post it. It is a cop out for writing something new, but I (with a bias) like it and hope you do too.

It is too easy these days to judge things based on their appearance. I am a journalist and on first glance could be considered a liberal blogger in print or possibly a rambler of publicly viewed nonsense.

No matter how you slice it, things are just easier for people if they are broken down and categorized. Unfortunately, they end up being horrendous predispositions about people we know little about.

To give an excellent example, I will quote an excerpt from a review by Jeremy Clarkson, a poorly dressed, giant-of-a-man, motoring journalist whose work I like to read.

"I saw the parting in his hair and knew he'd have a plasma television, an appointment to play squash that night with someone called 'Dom' and no carpets," he wrote, referring to a passing motorist he encountered while doing a review of the 2006 BMW M5.

It is safe to say that everyone does this whether they are willing to admit it or not. When we see something, someone or whatever, we take mental Polaroids and file them away in the annals of voluntary recall we call our brains.

Think of it like the movies, doing word associations in a therapist's office, saying the first thing that pops into your crazed cranium.

Clowns - convicts. Short - Gary Coleman. NASCAR - rednecks.

I was watching the SPEED channel last weekend. (See, already you are labeling me). I woke up at 4 a.m. to watch the ING Belgian Grand Prix. The seven-kilometer, 19-turn track is the 13th stop of the Formula 1 season. I know these things because I am a huge fan of international racing.

Label me a European empathizer or a fish 'n' chips flunky, but racing here in America is just not as good as it is in Europe. The drivers are better, the teams are more prestigious and the pit girls are better looking, minus the whole dental plan thing.

There I go again with the labeling. It is hard to avoid. I caught myself doing it at a dinner conversation when the topic of short-term memory came up. I simply rubber-stamped my father as "past his prime," referring to his inability to recall things he had done earlier that day. See how easy it is.

It can be something as harmless as calling someone childish or as serious as labeling someone a Nazi sympathizer, but either way, it is easy. As vocabularies of slang words increase, it becomes easier for things to become synonymous without the affected group knowing. We can thank Urban Dictionary for that.

I am sure that if I give the average reader some information about myself, within a few seconds they could form labels for me. I am a fan of the charismatic character created by the author Ian Fleming. Bond, James Bond. Witty label: a martini-sipping, womanizing, bad-guy-bashing MI6 misfit.

What is with the obsession with Europe? No, I don't want Tony Blair's autograph. As tempting as it is to label things, it shouldn't be so simple.

With how much tension there is in the world with wars, natural disasters and oil prices, it would do us all some good to keep the labels quietly to ourselves.

Sure, the emotional teen scene needs to stop buying black nail polish and the entire Spears family needs to take parenting classes, but shouldn't they figure it out for themselves?

If labeling is your thing, go ahead. Just make sure the person is not standing behind you when you publicly plaster them with prejudiced predispositions.

The Proof is in the Pictures

2008-09-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

On occasion I will take photos from my iPhone to tell a short story. Last night when I left the school newspaper at 2:30 a.m., I decided it would be fun to take a couple snapshots and give them a subtle, yet descriptive cut line, for others to make up their own stories. The photo above was taken when I pulled into the driveway of my house.

If I wasn't so tired last night, I would have snapped a shot of the empty freeway that I got to travel on for a few miles. I couldn't see anyone, in front or behind me. When I figured out that I was alone on this open stretch of road, I had envisions (at that hour they were probably delusions) about racing down the Autobahn in a fancy foreign car, with nothing but gravity and wind resistance holding me back.

Then I caught up to a police officer while doing 80 mph and decided it would be best if I followed the rules of the road. Before I left the parking garage, I managed to take this snapshot. Two Camaros in the parking lot, planning devious plots. I looked around and saw no other cars, and the only thing I could think of was ... "And then there were two."

Until The Page Bleeds Red

2008-09-09T23:39:00.000-07:00

Currently I am sitting at the fourth computer I have worked at today, and I just got back from moving my car from the overflow parking lot here on my campus. I have been on campus since 9:30 a.m. and I am pretty sure I am not going to leave here until around two in the morning tomorrow.

I don't blame the time on my colleagues, we have been working as hard as we can, I blame it on Today's schedule and the inability of writers to start stories before the day they are due. Don't get me wrong, I like to procrastinate, I mean, that is what my blog is named after, but starting a story at 7 p.m. when it was due at 4 is unacceptable.

I started some stories, the day they were due, when I was a staff writer. But I did it in the morning before I came to school, and most of the time, had more than half of it done before my editors asked how far along I was.

I wouldn't care if the writing was clean, but our managing and executive editors, not to mention our section editors, have been marking up the pages with correction ink in an attempt to help our writers improve.

What that translates into is, slower returns of stories to the writers, longer reviewing of editing marks and an overall longer process of finishing a paper.

The process is coming along and things have drastically improved since the 4 a.m. night ... I mean morning. Other than the writing side of the paper, everything else seems to be going fine. The editors really have gotten the hang of their pages and are catching some of my mistakes. Yes I do make them. It is good to know that, in a couple of weeks, everything will hopefully have become streamlined and the process will yield an earlier return-home time. Possibly on the same day as we begin creating it.

Shaken, Flame-broiled Weekend

2008-09-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went back to my parents house, mainly, to be in an air condition place during our little heat wave here in the Bay Area.

Among the things I did, was get shaken like a dirty martini by a 4.0 earthquake and melt like and ice cube in a frying pan, in the 102 degree heat.

But I did get to cool off in the swimming pool and get to spend a good amount of time with my girlfriend. We spent our 11th anniversary just hanging out, mainly because I didn't plan anything ... because I am dumb. Oh well, our year is coming up and I am already working on that, which should make up for it.

I got some textbooks over the weekend, picking them up in boarders because my professor forgot to order copies to be in the school bookstore. So about $60 later, we walked around a little around the shopping area, eventually going into Bed Bath and Beyond. Which was a mistake, because I found out that they sell the Beertender. (You will have to verify your age.)

But anyway, now I am back in the South Bay and it is starting to cool off, still about 80 degrees, but that is a nice change for the temperature our house has been all day. Now I am getting ready to do some reading before class tomorrow and waiting for it to get colder in my room so my brain can function. Anyway, here is a picture I took this weekend.

Mind's Lazy Eye

2008-09-03T15:14:00.000-07:00

I got a new camera over the weekend, a Nikon D80, and today I got to use it for a fill-in assignment. I came into the Spartan Daily, SJSU's student-produced newspaper. Immediately I was given the task of photographing song writer and acoustic performer, Roem Baur.

Even though I have no formal training in photography, I have taken pictures for the paper in the past and did, what I think, was a decent job.

Below are two photographs, the first is my favorite of the 100 I took from the performance today and the other is one that they might use in the paper tomorrow. (Click on the picture to see them in a larger size.)

Do It Alone

2008-08-26T22:27:00.001-07:00

You ever get the feeling, you know, the one where you are the one person in the room that every doesn't like. Recently I feel like I am that person. You know, the one where everyone rolls their eyes when they turn away from talking to you, the one where they laugh at your jokes just to make you leave. Yeah, that guy.

I am the self-proclaimed room silencer, the guy that says something and kills the room. I have seriously contemplated not saying anything. It is hard for me, because ... well ... I like to talk. I think I am talking to my friends, but with the way some people can be, who knows these days.

I feel like I have an important role, but really, I am starting to feel I don't. How can it feel important when, when I talk there is maybe two people who feel like I am credible enough to be speaking. I am like a kid lecturing adults on the correct things to do. Hell, why should they listen to me when I don't even take my own advice.

So, it has only been two days at school and I am already growing tired of it. Oh well, I can't ask anyone for help, because then I would not be trying, so I guess I have to do it alone.

Sugarcult, "Do It Alone" on Lights Out

Bringing In the Season

2008-08-24T18:32:00.000-07:00

What season is that? Copy editing season. Today marked the beginning of the end of my social life and normal amounts of sleep. The paper begins and I am sitting at my desk, waiting for stories to come in.

I wrote a column this afternoon which will appear in the school paper I work for and I am sort of excited. Writing a column allows you to do ... what I am doing now ... but put it in print. Obviously it is not a printed blog and must have a point and be aimed at the targeted audience.

But having a column, something I can call my own piece of territory for that day of the week is fun. The thought of people, possibly, looking forward to something I have to say. Sure, there is the flip side of the coin, someone could grow to hate the person I am, and make threats based on my opinion.

The hardest part of writing the column might have been coming up with the name. It is what people identify you with, sometimes more than your name and picture. You can tell people what you think about almost anything and hear what they have to say. The idea for this type of writer-reader communication is fun.

Tomorrow I will see how the advisor's took to my first piece, which I would call ... last minute to say the least. I came in and because of a technology error, found out I was going to write a column. Although it was not my best work, I know that for future columns I can do better and in hopes of getting people interested in what I have to say, I will have to.

Even though I have a position where I read everything, I feel as if my writing is not up to par, and the lack of writing over the summer might have aided in that, but the more I read the better writer I will become. Maybe I will read some Faust or maybe some Faulkner. Who knows.

Anyway, house update: My roommates and I have moved in and unpacked most of our things. One of our roommates is moving in tomorrow and Tuesday, which is confusing because school starts tomorrow. However he does it, we will see.

As for tonight, maybe I will open up my new bottle of Gray Goose and toast to finishing the first issue of the paper ... if we finish it before a reasonable time.

Tomorrow Comcast is coming to install the Internet and cable to our rooms, which is nice because we have been without since the middle of last week. Oh how desperately I need the Internet on a daily basis. Anyway, I must get back to work, before I fall behind my time table.

30 Minute Meals ... Yeah Right

2008-08-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

No, I am not starting a cooking show and no my girlfriend's last name is not "Ray," I am not America's Top Chef and I am not an Iron one either. Instead I am part of a group that takes the longest time in the world to decide where and what to eat.

Imagine yourself sitting at your computer, nearing your average dinner time. Since you and your "roommate" are not cooking, it means another night hunting for a meal to satisfy your hunger. Sure, you can go to the regular places and you always seem to.

My group has what I like to call the trifecta. The list includes, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Iguana's, Wing Stop, Little Caesers and don't forget Quiznos. I know there are more than three there, but when I started calling it that, that's how many places we seemed to go to.

So your sitting in the common room of your place discussing with your house mates the places you would like to go to eat. Everyone chimes in and a vote is taken to figure out which places is more desirable.

Well that is how, in my head, it should go. Instead, I ramble off a bunch of places that we haven't been to in the last ... three days, and my room mates sit on the couch in front of me playing Street Fighter II Turbo, ignoring what I am saying.

Sure this doesn't happen all the time, but in the last seven days I have been back with them, that has been the pattern. So when I call my girlfriend at around nine each night, I am starting to think that she thinks I just pick a time at night to call her back. So this post is here to describe the average time wasted, using tonight's outing as an example; discussing, looking, picking and getting to a place to eat.

The following example works for all possible meal times for college students.

1. Everyone gathers in a common place to discuss the level of hunger and the possible places to satisfy said hunger. (Time recommended 5:00 minutes.) Actual time taken 20:00 minutes.*
*Note: Time does not include bathroom trips, exiting World of Warcraft or hearing the initial summoning.

Instead of discussing what places they want to go, I hear a bunch of, "I am not all that hungry" and "Lets get something different," instead of hearing suggestions that would meet these criterion. More Street Fighter is played and no decisions are made.

2. A general location is picked and the group makes its way to the vehicle, where they take off for their destination. (Time recommended between 5:00-20:00 minutes depending on traffic.) Actual time taken 60:00 minutes.

We drove around the mall parking lot looking for places to eat inside. Seeing lines in most places still open we keep circling, mainly because the roommate driving can't drive worth a damn and doesn't understand verbal directions. They have to come from his female navigator in his car. We circle and eventually I get frustrated and end up picking a place that would have met the recommended traveling time.

3. The driver promptly drives his passengers to the desired location and successfully navigates the vehicle back to the place of residence. (Time recommended including time to eat at a casual restaurant 45:00 minutes.) Actual time taken 80:00 minutes.

The thing about one of our roommates is, he just can't drive, navigation or not. It baffles the rest of us that he even obtained his driver's license. He goes up one-ways and makes u-turns in intersections clearly marked with no u-turn signs. He doesn't use his blinker or look over his shoulder and also can't drive at night without using his high beams. That is all for my next post, but really, he should not be driving.

All in all, lunch or dinner, out, should not take more than an hour at the most. Instead, trips with my roommates always end up being a minimum of two hours without a maximum time. It drives me crazy, but I know it drives my lady up a wall, so I had to explain.

So tonight after driving almost 20:00 minutes from our house in search of a place to eat, we ended up eating in a Jack in the Box less than a quarter of a mile from our house. Then it took our wonderful navigator fifteen minutes to get us back home because he missed a right hand turn in the parking lot, putting us on a painfully long detour.

Tune in more often, I am going to be going back to school in about a week and plan on posting on a regular basis.

Why Don't We Do It In The Road

2008-08-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

In the last week I have traveled more than eighteen hours in a car on my mid-summer vacation. Last weekend, my younger sister and I went up to Nevada to visit my brother and spent a few days hanging out and catching up on things. Not to mention eating big meals and playing 36 holes of miniature golf.

I had the pleasure of driving that adventure; four hours on the way up and six hours on the way back down. Sure I had a good time, but I will never drive to Nevada again at night, especially when I am tired. The trip was fun and I had a good time hanging out with my siblings and my brothers girlfriend. You know, just us kids. I guess it was a treat because the following weekend I would find myself traveling South through California for a weekend at the lake with my girlfriend and her family.

We left early Friday morning ... well early for my standards. We packed up the SUV and headed on our five hour trip through Yosemite National Park and toward the city of Mammoth. We climbed the windy road through Yosemite and avoided campers and bikers haphazardly stopping in the middle of the road to take pictures and sightsee.

We made it to Mammoth and planned out the next few days with my girlfriends family and cousins. We went horseback riding up the rocky side of a mountain, one my hind quarters did not take kindly. Two hours of a sun-hardened saddle keeping you on top of a bouncing bronco. OK, it wasn't a bronco to my knowledge but it was a horse, that I am certain.

Today we met up with some friends of my girlfriend's cousins and spent the morning and afternoon skimming across Crowley Lake, trying to wake board. I had only been once before, about seven years ago, but had never managed to get myself out of the water.

It turns out I was told the wrong things to do when I went my first time.
This time was better, I was able to get myself up and balance for a little while before taking a head-first dive into the chilly lake. There were complication with my equipment, since my size thirteen feet didn't want to hang out in the bindings.

Other than that, I had a fun time and am sad that my vacation is ending with tomorrow's drive back to the Bay Area. These last two road trips have really made my summer and are helping me keep my mind off the lonely semester to come. I have had a great time and am definitely considering convincing my family to purchase a boat. Oh well, like this vacation and this post, all good things must come to an end.

Title: The Beatles, "Why don't we do it in the road" on the White Album

Safe Drive

2008-07-25T15:13:00.000-07:00

So in California we have this new cell phone law. You can't have your phone next to your ear or be visibly text messaging, otherwise you get a ticket. This sounds like a wonderful idea ethically but like most people I have seen, people just don't seem to care.

I can drive around and still see people holding their phones up to their ears while driving in their cars. They are usually the ones I have to swerve around and pass on the freeways because they don't realize how slow they are going. There also the ones who drive too fast and typically are the ones causing accident.

I don't mind using my Bluetooth headset but I can see where people who are not tech savvy are had a predisposed hatred for the new cell phone law. In an angry moment toward her new piece of required technology, my mother gave me her Bluetooth headset, saving me the trouble of having to go out and get one for myself.

In her disgust she said,"These stupid things shouldn't be required. They don't even WORK!" As she handed me it, I snagged her phone and began going through the useual procedures. Options -> general settings -> Bluetooth -> (Enter Passcode). Presto change-o, it worked.

I showed her how to connect it to her phone and like the response I was expecting she said, "That is too difficult!", "Why make something this complicated required?"

I had to laugh only because it was simple to me. A person who has explored the functions and read the manual on my phone. But I can see where people would be upset with the new law. For one thing, not every device is easy to setup. Also, for older people who don't really gell with new technology, finding the Bluetooth section, (and more importantly remember where it is and remembering to shut it off), can be a hassel.

The only thing I don't like about my particular headset is that the blue light blinks fairly bright at night. The light blinks to let me know it is on, shining against my driver-side window and reflecting off of everything in my car. It is kind of distracting. But, hey, if someone got a red blinking one and sat in my passenger seat we could signal people like airliners in the sky.

On the other hand, I am glad that this law is in place. People will now use their phone less, because it is too difficult to use your phone with the headset. (You still have to look at your phone to dial, set up the headset and see who is calling you.) Maybe this law will make people realize how un-important using your phone in the car is.

Before this rule, I seldom used my phone in my car. I would pull over and use my phone if I needed to, or I would just wait to use my phone until I arrived at my destination. I don't use my phone more now that the law is in place, but I don't find it any more difficult.

It makes me happy in a way to see older people struggle with the technology in turn curbing their desire to use their phones. But at the same time there are even more people out there using their phones anyway. I hope the police strictly enforce this law, that way more people will take it seriously. This law is a great way to protect the lives of people behind the wheel.

Next stop ... putting on makeup and shaving while driving.

Title: "Safe Drive" by Cute Is What We Aim For off of "Rotation"

I'm No Da Vinci

2008-06-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

I skipped going to work today to sleep in and the only real thing I had to do was go get some RAM for my great aunt's computer. So as I was sitting at home after all of that waiting for my girlfriend to get home from work, I picked through my comic books and decided to whip out the old pencil and paper and see what I could do.

I used to draw quite often, but as I began writing more, I stopped drawing and did other things. So I picked up the issue of the "Invincible Iron Man." If you read my review of the recent movie, you might understand the recent fascination with the character.

Anyway, I started off real well, but then I got to the legs and I decided to erase it and save it before I made it a disaster. So here is the original and what I ended up drawing.

Christine Everheart: You've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint.

Irony of Dying on Your Birthday

2008-06-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in a cluttered office, pilled to the rafters with booklets filled with tiny pieces of sticky-backed paper. No, not a sticker factory, but my fathers Stamp and collectibles business. What am I doing here? Procrastinating of course. In all honesty I am helping him create an inventory of his stock so that he can put it on his website.

I just scan the object and save them onto an external hard drive which as of last week, only seven days of work, became half full. Time to lower the resolution and start over... I know. Exciting.
As I sit here and wait for the scans I did this morning to finish moving to the external hard drive, I was thinking about the idea of a birthday.

A day of celebration in honor of the day you were born. Seems simple, by why is it that parents these days just don't get them. My parents have double duty, because my twin brother and I obviously share the same day. My mother struggles to come up with things to get for us, as I am older know and my hobbies and interests no longer make sense to her.

My birthday is nearing a month over now and it is funny how little interest there is one year after my 21st. The last big birthday I had was for my 21st, some friends and I got together and tailgated before an Oakland A's game, then sat in a outfield luxury box.

But before that, and much like this year, the day passes by with a celebration and apathy from my parents, chalking up getting a simple gift to, "You didn't ask for anything." How I see it is simple. I am 22 and my rent and utilities are paid for by my parents. My jobs can't afford them yet. I don't ask for anything because, what I need, they give me.

I thought I was being selfish for even wanting to go out to dinner. That was until my brother stepped on the face of being polite and in the midst of moving into a brand-new, four-room, single bedroom apartment, asked for his birthday gift.

When my mom got home from helping him move into his new apartment she asked me, "What would you like for your birthday?" I simply shoved off the question. A few minutes later it dawned on me that my brother probably asked for something and got it ... warranting the question from my mother.

I went downstairs and asked my mother, "What did (Brother's name) want for his birthday?"
He is currently basking in the glory of 48 flat-panel inches of high-definition television. Since then I have been looking for things that I "want" for my birthday and to this very moment can't think of anything that I couldn't buy for myself.

I don't know, maybe I just want fair compensation. My older sister totals her car and gets a new one. My brother causes an accident that leaves his SUV totaled then gets the truck he has "always wanted." I would just like fair compensation.

I drive a 13 year old car with 90k miles on it that runs like it has 590k on it. I don't want a damn TV, I just want my parents to see that on the balance scale of sibling fairness, my amount has flown off the other side from the wait of the others.

This is a selfish rant, discard if you have made it this far.
"Irony of Dying on Your Birthday" by Senses Fail off of Let It Enfold You.

Barney, Start the Revolution

2008-04-21T14:28:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing I can't stand about writing for the paper, is the blatant abuse of power by the editors. Certain ones more than others and some not at all. But the ones that do ... annoying. I am planning on being an editor next semester and I plan on never leaving a writer hanging.

Over the weekend one of the editors wanted me to cover a certain type of event that I have covered a lot already. It wasn't so bad except for the fact that the request came via their significant others' email and at 12:35 a.m. the morning of the event.

I was awake when i received the email update on my iPhone, but was so put off by the blatant disregard for my knowing of the event that it made me just want to scream. I slept in and ignored the fact that they gave me 12 hours before the event was to take place and even less time to decided whether or not I wanted to cover it.

I denied them with a big fat NO. I made up an excuse on the phone to make my emotional state feel better about being denied an ounce of professional courtesy. I am obviously still peeved about the whole incident, enough to rant to the online world about it.

But oh well, shit stinks and heavy things sink in water. Either way, the damn world keeps spinning even though we want it to stop for a few days and let us take a break.

I am sitting in the news room, resenting the fact that there is not enough time to write all the stories I need to finish but there are not enough stories to allow me to finish. Gotta love double-down downers.

Rebel without a cause

2008-04-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

According to one reader, it has been more than a month and my posts have dwindled. So I will post and update the online world of my happenings.

I have become increasingly interested in the car that James Dean died in.

I have been very busy writing for the school newspaper. So busy that I have not been back home in three weeks, now on four.

There are three things that keep me going during the day and those are my girlfriend and red bull and the idea that I will eventually sleep in my cozy bed.

I would like to take this time to plug Iron Man, the movie, that is coming out on May second. Go and see it, and to all those producers of the movie, it better not destroy my childhood memories.

I would also like to take this time to say that I have no more time to write at the moment. Look for more posts after the end of the semester. I will be working over the summer, but I will have more time than I have right now with the newspaper.

Check out our paper. www.thespartandaily.com

Smile for the camera

2008-03-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

At the newspaper we have been having some slow weeks for news. Which is not good news for us reporters. We need to hit a quota for stories by the end of the semester and slow weeks do not help.

In order to keep my story count rising and my mood not angered at the lack of news. I have been taking photos for stories and working on multimedia projects using those photos and audio from interviews for stories.

I can't say that they are the best photos. I have never taken any photo classes and all I know is that if it looks like it could be a good photo then it might be. Here is the photo that we ran in the paper for a story i covered about volunteers at a soup kitchen in San Jose.

Getting a photo in the paper counts for 1/4 of a story. So if I take enough good photos for a decent story, I might be able to pick up some of the slack in my story count while just doing what I normally have to do for the paper anyway.

Anyway, I am just sitting in the student union dreading the work I have to do this weekend, mainly because my girlfriend is home on her spring break and I have a full week of work to do before I go on mine. And I am shooting to be ahead on my work before I take that time off.

Well, now I am off to survey people for a class project that I need to finish by the end of the day and turn in via email before the noonish tomorrow.

No One's Home

2008-03-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a jazz concert on campus and decided that I was not going to wait till tomorrow to go home for my mom's birthday.

I went back to my place and grabbed some laundry and the books I need for this coming week's tests and made my way home at the wonderful hour of 10 p.m. I got home in 45 minutes which is a pretty decent time, but I can only thank the lack of traffic for making my trip short and pleasant.

I came home and grabbed my things from my car. I unlocked the front door and entered the door to my immensely empty house. No one is home. I came home for the weekend to celebrate my mother's birthday and she isn't even in town.

I was going to call my mom and dad to figure out where they had run off too, but then I realized that they are probably somewhere where it is a later timezone and waking them up was not something I wanted to do.

So now I am home and talking to my girlfriend on skype since I have no one else to talk to and i am writing this blog because I can never just do one thing at a time. And she is hating the fact that I am typing in her ear through my built-in microphone.

I appologize for starting all but one paragraph with the word "I."

The Limited Power of Media

2008-03-06T14:55:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, I wrote an opinion piece about the effect of the MMORPG, World of Warcraft and the addiction the game creates. Also about the social problems it creates. Any who, we posted it on our newspaper website, just like we do with all our stories, and to my surprise, no one commented on it.

I thought that all of nerdom would have a strong opinion about the addiction of WoW. But nope. Maybe they were all sleeping, or maybe they just don't read the newspaper. Maybe both? Who knows. Basically there was no response.

Maybe the players are aware of their addictions and just choose to ignore the fact they are addicted. As far as people agreeing with me who don't play but know someone, I was also surprised that no one commented on it. I would have loved to create some sort of controversy like some of the other column writers have done this semester, but I guess everyone agrees with me.

I am going to try to screen shot the story and post it up later for people who have not read it. But as far as I see right now, the power of the media and the ability to reach people is limited.

Heels Over Head

2008-03-05T11:31:00.000-08:00

I know that my video game posts are not that exciting, but I hope this one will be more interesting. I have found a new summer project and I am very excited about drawing out the plans.

I got the idea for making Tetris shelves from an article in Wired magazine that depicted a narrow wall in an office, littered with different colored post-it notes that were arranged in a Tetris-like formations. Pieced together, the wall resembled an hour long attempt to form a five-live masterpiece.

Anyway, I got the idea to make Tetris piece shelves and though I was the only one until I did some research online. Someone already did it. I am not disappointed though. I will make mine the with and height of video game boxes and have my perfect square pieces have edge grabbers that will keep the game boxes from falling.

What I want to do, that I haven't seen in other designs, is to make each piece separate. This will allow me to change up the formation of the pieces if I get a new TV, or if I move into a new space. I am also excited because If I need more space, I can always just make a new piece.

The project will be time consuming not to mention cost a decent amount of money, but I am excited already. Maybe it will motivate me to finish some of my other woodworking projects, like the sign for my dad's office that I started almost four years ago.

Listening to: Heels Over Head by Boys Like Girls

Drones

2008-02-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

There is a difference between work you choose to do and work that is given to you. The difference comes down to perspective. If you choose to do something to your best potential, then there is a good chance that what you are doing will be something exceptional and in some cases inspirational.

This is also where you become a free mind or a drone. No this is not a Matrix posting, but it sure feels like there should be something more that is happening with school. Right now, I am nothing more than a key punching, mouse clicking, article writing, electrical fed drone of my school work.

I work on stories and in some cases I can't find the proper words to write, but they just flow from my journalist subconscious. My fingers keep tapping and like at this moment, there is no real purpose to my writing, only to achieve a purpose. That purpose? Pure output... like a drone. I keep typing, joking at the minuscule numbers of faithful readers open up the newspaper looking for what I have written. My girlfriend does, but my friends? room mates? classmates? Nope. Ask anyone other than a select few which stories I have written and you will find a blank answer.

I like to think that the things I write reach people and that people care, but it is hard to say that they do. In this fast paced, mind-numbing world that we live in, I can truly say that my voice is limited in an attempt to reach many. I used to think that people read the newspaper, but write a column about a controversial issue and put your picture next to it.

I sat next to two people discussing what I wrote, and even though my picture was right there and I was sitting right in front of them, they didn't notice. Arguing and agreeing with the same points that I made.

I used to think that people read what you write and never looked at photos, but then I thought it as that no one read at that everyone looked at photos. Now I just assume that no one even cares. People look at headlines and discuss their opinions based on what it says, screw reading, that is for grade schoolers who need to learn.

So I will keep typing and speaking my mind for everyone to hear, and if you choose to listen then that is your choice, if you choose to read my headlines and guess about what I am saying, then that is your choice too. Either way I will keep typing, writing. Endlessly, mindlessly... like a drone.

The Feel Good Drag

2008-02-20T15:54:00.000-08:00

After last night's three hours of sleep, I couldn't feel any worse. I am trying not to get sick with my two room mates showing signs of the flu and I almost pull an all nighter in the name of procrastination.

What is it this time you may ask? It was a five-page report for my history class. My topic; the Industrial Revolution in Great Brittan, mainly how it pertains to the development of the steam engine. Basically in five pages I drug out my topic and how the benefits of the revolution aided Great Brittan in expanding its empire so that "The sun would never set on British conquered land." It isn't a quote by anyone, but I assume that someone important probably said that at some point in time.

After six hours of pain of writing my outline and finding quotes and credible sources to cite, I took a break. To do what? I started something I had done since two glorious years ago in the height of my video game juncture. Play Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater.

Sure I have beaten it, but there was more that had to be done. Any gamer could beat this game on Hard in under 11 hours of play time, but I wanted to get the stealth camouflage. I set out to shoot all the frogs in the game.

I have to go back to writing my paper, but I will keep you posted on the genocide of Kermit the Frog and his best friends. I will try to go home and finish off the vermin before I go to bed. Maybe I will get lucky and have hit them all.

A (Few) Days Late But Up 20 Bucks

2008-01-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

It has almost been a month since I have posted, but what can I say, when I break, I BREAK. So this is the update, short-hand version of my break so far.
-I was in my sister's wedding.
-I got my iPhone.
-I went to Disneyland with my little sister and brother.
-I have done zero work.
-I have not registered for classes.
-I have not written in my blog.
All in all, it has been quite a relaxing winter break. I am going to register for classes on the 14th when the school server is back up. But right now I am wasting valuable remaining break time. We are back in session on the 23rd, at that point you can expect almost daily posts again.
This post was made from my iPhone while watching my brother play assassin's creed. I will put a photo in it when I am near my laptop.

California's Dark

2007-12-18T17:42:00.000-08:00

I am now sitting in the kitchen of my parents house, a mere 43 hours since I was here last. Since I left I have turned in one take home final and designed a front page of a newspaper for another final. I am truly happy to be done with school, I finished today, but there is something strange about having free time. I just got home and I am already bored. I wish I brought home my room mates Playstation two so I could play guitar hero or something. Hell, I would even play the original Tony Hawk game if it were the only thing available.

I keep forgetting to explain the titles of my posts. So I will go back ans explain the last couple ones in case people were confused or think I was making up my own. Back when I wrote, "Happiness is a well organized iTunes," I was listening to The Beatles' White Album which was created in 1968, which has the song on it "Happiness is a warm gun." I was just busy making my itunes all nice and organized for the possible arrival of my iphone.

The post above that is titles, "Punch the keys for god's sake." This post was the first post that I had done in a while because of the hectic schedule the magazine forced myself and others to be ruled by. The title comes from the infamous website, Your the man now dog, (www.ytmnd.com) where Sean Connerey's quotes have been immortalized. This post was sparked by a discussion my friends and I had about using the Ctrl+Z command in InDesign (undo) in real life. It's a laugher to us anyway.

The next post up titled "Sing till your lungs give out" was really made by me and just came out of my reaction to the vocals of the lead singer in Paramore. She just hits all the notes and impressed me. Read the review if you want to know more.

And the post before this one's title called "When you were young" comes from The Killers' 2006 album Sam's Town. It's also on Guitar hero 3, but I kept hearing it at the wedding and it sparked my disgruntled comments about my relatives.

I understand that is post is a bunch of referrals to old posts, but maybe if people commented there would be more to discuss. I am looking forward to this winter break and I think I am going to start it now with a nice coma. Oh, before I forget, I am a huge fan of Rage Against the Machine, so I was happy to see that Tom Morello made a new album with his band the Nightwatchman. If you like Tom's stuff I would suggest picking up a copy of the album called, "One man revolution." The title of this blog is from the first track on that album and I am listening to it right now. So far I like all the songs I have heard.

When You Were Young

2007-12-17T15:54:00.000-08:00

This last weekend was hectic to say the least. I had my first two final exams on Wednesday and Thursday and I came home after my evening final on Thursday to hang out with my girlfriend. Friday night was the rehearsal for my sister's wedding and dinner with our two huge families. On Friday I also helped my parents set up their house for the after-wedding brunch on Sunday as well as picked my brother up from the airport. Oh yeah and I was supposed to be studying and preparing for my finals today and tomorrow. Let me count the minutes I wasn't busy... 7... maybe.

Even though the weekend was hectic, it was still pretty amazing. My sister truly got her 'fairytale' wedding and is now happily sitting on the beach in Hawaii on her honeymoon. Her dress was really beautiful and the whole ceremony was quite enjoyable. I was getting kind of tired of the, "I remember when you were this tall" comments that everyone seems to say even if they don't remember you. I also felt old when they used the, "when you were young," comments. The entire affair was truly amazing. I was kinda choked up, more than I thought I was going to be, because I hadn't prepared myself to see my sister get married. It didn't hit me until the next day. The increase in family size at the brunch was also daunting.

After the wedding I helped my parents transport all the floral arrangements back to their house. Then before I was able to scoot of to bed, I was summoned to help move in tables and chairs for the brunch the following morning. Little did I know that it would mean I would be doing all of the work with my brother. So we were up till about 1 a.m setting up for the brunch and because I couldn't sleep I decided to re-visit my New Super Mario Bros. save file on my Nintendo DS.

I got to sleep around 2 a.m. and woke up around 9 a.m. that morning to get ready for the brunch. If you are wondering when I studied for my finals, I have not yet and will get to that soon. At the brunch we have about half of the entire wedding guests, about 100 people or so, show up to my parents house. I should have taken pictures, but my parent's living room was packed wall to wall with people and somehow we fit all those people in with tables and chairs. All the furniture was moved into the garage, and then replaced by my twin and I after the party.

In an attempt to be polite to the guests and help out my mom and the caterer I stayed away from my laptop and any school books for a while. When I opened them to begin studying, it was time to go pick my uncle and family up from the hotel and head out to dinner. So after dinner I gathered up my things from my parents house and drove the rainy 45 minutes back to San Jose where I began studying for my 8:30 a.m. final, at 11:00 p.m.

I got my take home final done, but it was a very long night. I took a nap around 2:30 a.m. in order to rest my eyes for a little while, sleeping through my cell phone alarm, waking up abruptly at 4 a.m. and continuing the work. The only other trouble with this weekend other than the fact that I didn't get to spend that much time with my girlfriend is that my hand is swollen from all the hand shaking. Everyone in my family and new extended family shakes with a Texas-death grip. I have black a blues in between my thumb and pointer finger as well as the area on the palm under the pinky finger. The girlfriend is in Mexico so I am trying to find things to keep me busy and off my mind being jealous of her trip.

Black and blues, family, finals, sleeping, wedding, wedding cake

Sing Till Your Lungs Give Out

2007-12-12T13:13:00.000-08:00

I am going to admit an embarrassing fact. In 2002 I was impressed by Avril Lavigne's album Complicated. I was in my punk swing and I thought the song "Sk8er Boi" was catchy and had some good guitar in it. Much like my opinion of "Bring me to life" by Evanescence. Avril soon found her way to MTV and my following of the band soon faded away, along with her talent. I truly struggled seeing a female vocalist make her way through the punk-pop/rock scene like Avril did, but I have found proof that I am wrong. Let's just hope this group doesn't kick the bucket after one album.

The band that impressed me is called Paramore. The lead vocalist's name is Hayley Williams and this band already has hope because they didn't name the band after her. So their album Riot! has me impressed. Their hit songs "Misery business" and "Cruchcrushcrush" are impressive to me. Take a look and listen.

The lead singer's vocal range is impressive and although I have not read her wikipedia page, I hear on live105's morning show that she is 19-years old. They preformed at Not So Silent Night and impressed most of the audience members who called in to discuss the highlights of the show. I can't say if the band will last, because these days it seems like no one hangs around for all that long. But if Paramore keeps making music like the tracks on Riot! then I feel that Paramore fans will be happy for quite a while, while most people will forget about Avril Lavigne and her Canadian ass.

Avril Lavigne, Live 105, music, Not So Silent Night, Riot!, Woody Tony Ravey,

Punch the Keys for God's Sake

2007-12-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

Another awesome title courtesy of Sean Connery and YTMND.
My friends and I who have been working on the magazine reached a new level of procrastination. You know you have been working on something too long when you start to make jokes about the program applications that you are working with being part of real life.

In a discussion that we were having, we joked about how InDesign's Ctrl+Z command is one of the most glorious inventions. Not only that, but how it would be awesome if you could Ctrl+Z something in a real life situation. The immediate quick fix I thought of was for when that pick-up line fail miserably. Ctrl+Z that baby and poof, your back to where you were before you mentioned the line to try another one in your repituare. But it would have other applications as well.

Another example that comes to mind is like in the movie "Click" where is boss is being a jerk and he just pauses time, hits him across the face and then rewinds. Well I think of it like that, but you could hit him in the face and then see the reaction THEN Ctrl+Z and laugh about it later. But yes, the possibilities are endless with what you could Ctrl-Z. As a designer it makes me laugh at the possible applications of programs in real life.

Cut and paste? Duplicate? Transform? Rotate? The whole effects drop menu? I mean, I know that only Adobe users know what I am talking about, but at least we thought it was funny.

Happiness Is A Well Organized iTunes

2007-11-27T12:46:00.001-08:00

As some of you may know, I am really hoping for the man in the big red coat to get me an iPhone for the holidays. Well, in preparation for the event whether it happens or not, it motivated me to create a balanced, organized and awesome iTunes library which my iPhone could sync to. This means I want everything to be ready for easy sorting and syncing. Yes everything, album art, and all the fields filled in (minus ratings). So I copied non-iTunes store music over to my laptop from my desktop and started the process of filling in the loose ends.

The reason I am trying to get all the album art working, is because on the iPhone you use the newer cover flow method of viewing your music. In my case I was trying to get all the music under one album to go under one image for the cover art. The problem, is even if I copy all the same information to easy song except for the title of the song, I can not get some of the music to go under one album. For example, I have the Legion of Doom's album "Incorporated" and even though I have ripped the music directly from the CD, the album art splits into two images for the one album.

I would understand this if there were multiple CDs to the album, like Metallica's S&M 1 and 2, but they just split, and like I said, even after all the data in the entry being the same. I could ask my friend at the apple store but I was going to try and figure it out before I asked an "Apple Genius." He knows how much I loath apple computers. Although I have to say they make some fine other products.

CDs, iphone, ipod, itunes, legion of doom, metallica, organized, anal retentive, obsessive compulsive

Always Last Minute

2007-11-21T10:41:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what motivates people to not do something till there is barely enough time to finish the task? Procrastination works in marvelous ways. Thanksgiving always cracks me up. Don't get me wrong, it is by far one of the greatest holidays in my opinion, but people just take it a little too seriously.

I went to Safeway the other day to get batteries for the wireless Guitar Hero controller and already the madness of the Thanksgiving shopping had begun. I was not surprised, but was does surprise me, is how long some people wait to get that turkey and can of corn. When I used to work for Safeway there were many things that puzzled me, but one that always stood out was why people never shopped for the things they needed for Thanksgiving in advance? Don't leave me a comment saying that people just forget, or that they have busy lives that keep them from going shopping. If someone has time to put of load laundry in the washing machine, then they have time to shop early.

The week that the Halloween candy disappears from the shelves (which is actually the night of Halloween) they start loading the turkeys into the open freezers. This would be the opportune time to go out and get one, stick it in the freezer and not have to worry about it for a month. Sure, some people don't know how many people are coming for Thanksgiving, but you know... you could call them? Oh wait, we live in a society that is afraid to pick up the phone. (myself included) Also, it is not like you couldn't get a second turkey if you needed it. Everyone these days has one of those stupid "Set it and forget it" things.

What peeves me the most about last minute shoppers is that they always do it two to zero days before Thanksgiving. This causes people to stand in checkout lines that extend all the way down isles to the back of the store sometimes. This only further slows down the process, because people are fighting for positions with their fully-loaded karts while other shoppers are just trying to reach merchandise on the shelves. The isles are barely large enough for two shopping karts let a lone a whole checkout line full of them.

If I could offer some words of advice to you shoppers. Avoid the day time. Just go at three in the morning and get your shopping done if you absolutely need to shop before Thanksgiving. There is no one in the store and the shelves are stocked since the night crew has been hard at work filling the empty spaces that eager shoppers have created in the day. Also if you are going to go, leave your kids at home, there is no point in bringing your rug-rats into the store so they can kick and scream and make you look like a bad parent for not buying them a whole two liter of orange soda. I know, I love it too... I do, I do, I do ooo. Have some respect for the other pissed off shoppers. Chances are they have been sitting in the same crazy-ass line you have also been waiting in. Also treat the employees with respect, if you treat them like crap, I guaren-damn-tee they are not going to want to lift a finger to help you locate the organic stuffing mix. (It is in produce for some reason) Then again, you could avoid all of those things by going at three in the morning.

Even though it sounds like I have disgust for the holiday, Thanksgiving is actually one of my favorites. By the way, the lady at the register forgot to bag my batteries, so I will have to go back, but I will bring my camera and take some pictures. So be safe this holiday break, eat lots of good food, watch some football games and don't yell at your family members. I know I will be holding back the urge to. Happy Thanksgiving.

Procrastination, Safeway, long lines, Thanksgiving, Turkey, Holiday, Shopping, Guitar Hero,

Pinball Wizard

2007-11-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

It has been confirmed. I officially have no life. That or no exciting games to play. Over the past day I have had a Space Cadet Pinball game open. Oh yeah, I had re-discovered the game after realizing that I need to always be doing three things at once. Multitasking has become my normal mode. Living and being on the computer were just not enough. So I was playing and just wondering how long I could keep the game going.

I looked at the high scores and sort of laughed at myself, thinking that I could do better. Well... I have. And in doing so I have proven that you CAN spend more time at your computer than you want playing a stupid game. I did that before with WoW, but this is something that comes installed on your computer. This has to be some record. I have never seen a high score like it. I played this single round, on and off for the entire day. F3 pauses the game and came in handy.

I literally got every medal that I think you can get. I activated the gravity field and multi ball mode numerous times. The missions keep getting harder but the points are insane. On the second to last mission that I completed, I was awarded ten million points for completing it. I am just going to sit back and enjoy the site of this high score. 414,120,250 points. Here is my screen capture.

That took so long to do, I might never open that program again. I really need something else, other than blogging and computer pinball to waste my time on. Got any suggestions?

Are You F@#$ing Kidding Me?

2007-11-19T16:05:00.000-08:00

I try to keep from swearing in public and also not using vulgar language when I write, but I have just got to vocalize how much I hate censored music or "clean" editions. When you buy something in iTunes that is edited for adult content it puts a little [clean] icon next to your music. For music that has adult lyrics the also put in a [explicit] next to the song. But no offense to Apple, but that is the type of thing that makes a teenager listen to it.

I just recently got Sugarcult's album "Lights Out" and I was disappointed to find out that it was the clean version. I am 21 years old. There is no reason for there even to be clean versions of music available for me to search for. I want to listen in the original form that it was created, in all its obscenity goodness.

I do my online music shopping by getting ideas from Pandora.com which is an online music sampling space. They don't let you hear songs again once you have heard them, or let you choose songs for that matter.The Idea behind Pandora is to make the user experience music by breaking it down by genre and style of the music you like. Oh yeah, and they don't censor their music. With the whole Sugarcult thing, I was more disappointed than Chris Rock when he bought a clean Jay-Z album. Then again, being able to watch vulgar stand-up comedy acts, make people laugh like this one, (Only Click If You are 18+ years old. Adult Content)

How hypocritical of me to even give you a warning.
So again, the whole concept of cleaning up music confuses me. Kids are not listening to music and then going out and yelling obscenities because they hear them in songs. This is my same argument for video games. Kids are not going out and killing people with guns because they learned how to shoot in a video game. The thing is, everything a kid is going to learn is from the family and school environment they grow up in. So why the hell are we still putting warning labels and making clean versions of music? And don't even think of leaving me a comment about the warning labels on cigarettes. People who smoke choose to smoke also choose to cash their lease on life in early.

Inspiration On Demand

2007-11-18T10:43:00.000-08:00

It is amazing what can happen in one day. Yesterday a comment was left by a moderator of jackbook.com, the website who was hosting the iPhone template I commented about not working. In the comment I got a copy-pasted how-to guide of how to fix the template. Even though I didn't mention it in my last post, I had taken the necessary steps to host the images for the template on my own and properly inserted them into the HTML editor. The comment felt like a weak attempt of saying "It's not our fault you're stupid."

I deleted the comment because I have moved on from the whole iPhone template and decided that it is easier to make small changes to the blogger templates in order to make it different but personalized. I am not HTML retarded for the record. I know how to make all the changes to the template to get it to work, but the comment left by the jackbook rep made me realize that they think I am.

Which lead to my early morning (for me) post about the politeness of comments on the internet. Sure I did call the result of my attempt to make the Iphone template work on my blog, " Transformed into a ridiculous piece of garbage," but it is not like I was directly insulting the creators. It was merely a creative attempt at me voicing my opinion about the increased difficulty of installing that particular template. You know... the main reason people make blogs. To publicly share their opinion.

I was shocked in the first place that they found me (even though I linked to them) and that they were peeved enough with my comment to try and tell me how to fix my template even though I have already decided to not go with it. The whole thing just put me in a sort of funk. Now that I think about it I might put the comment back up just so you all can see how funny the whole thing is. Sure people don't read instructions when they buy things, hell I don't read instruction manuals in video games I buy. But to assume that people don't read install instructions for blog templates (especially when they are not created specifically for you blog host) is like saying people don't read the details of their "cool-down period" before buying a gun. Am I going to get it immediately... NO!

But I have better things to do, like look for presents for the holidays and research the iPhone. I am going to end this post here, I am starting to sound like the ranter of old. Comments and critiques of the new blog look are still welcome. Let me know what you think.

Rise From The Ashes

2007-11-17T17:03:00.000-08:00

If this is your first time viewing my blog, welcome. For those of you who are coming back and wondering what happened, I have a story to tell. Yesterday I was looking for something new to make my blog stand out amongst the rest. I wanted my blogger template to resemble an iPhone because of the most likely purchase I am going to make. So I looked around the net and found a template that looked awesome. (Their image is awful.) I loaded the xml file into the template modifier in blogger and awaited the transformation. My page was transformed alright. Transformed into a ridiculous piece of garbage.

Nothing that I saw in the demo worked. Everything including my profile was erased in my eagerness to have my profile look like an iPhone. In my haste I did not create a backup of my template for blogger. Which lead to the day long process of creating a new online persona. My blog used to be called, "Rants of a Former Safeway Employee" and I was known as "Bag Boy" Chris. While I enjoy blogging about the obvious faults of the company (and I still will), it was becoming too hard to focus all my energy coming up with a Safeway related post each week, especially because I only go shopping about twice a month.

So I made this new template and online persona and from what my girlfriend said, "It is more me." I agree. You still can't see my face in my profile photo, but at least I am not wearing a bag over my head. I spent some time trying to make the blog more personal because I usually speak my mind or share about things going on in my life. This, after all, is my serious attempt of building readership and practicing writing for an audience. So, it is not an iPhone template, but I think it looks good.

I am going under a new blogger name now, "Comatose Chris." I think it works pretty well. Dictionary.com defines comatose as: (2.) In a state of deep and usually prolonged unconsciousness. I have no problem with that. Speaking of which... I am going to take a quick coma. Leave any comments about the new name, blog or layout. Anything is appreciated.

Sleeping Awake

2007-11-16T16:57:00.000-08:00

So when I can't sleep at night and when I wake up early it is usually because of my neighbor's dogs. As I mentioned in my last post, they woke me up last night, and the morning before that, and the morning before that, etc. I can almost count on being woken up every morning around 6 a.m. No alarm clock needed.

The same thing happens every day as well. The fence in the photo of the dogs in my neighbor's backyard that faces the back of our house and more specifically my window, is supposed to keep the dogs on the left side of that fence.(click on the photo to see what I am talking about.) Well, everyday, the little black dog makes it onto the right side of the fence and the brown dog doesn't like that, so it barks for hours upon hours until it figures out how to move the fence or the little black dog pushes it open from the other side.

As you can see in the photo, the dogs managed to open the fence today, like the day before it and every day since my neighbor built the damn thing. I guess I wouldn't care if that was all they did, but they bark at anything and everything. What makes it worse is they are always outside, their owners never let them inside. I can't even stand in front of my window or have the blinds open without them barking their little heads off at the sight of me in the window. It is sad too because I have a nice view. Maybe it is time to get a pellet gun.

My Curse

2007-11-16T15:29:00.000-08:00

Why the sad blog title? Let me tell you. In the last two days I have been working in InDesign for a total of 18 hours. I know you might not think that is a lot, but I spend time in bed, not sleeping, but sitting there wanting to. Yesterday I spent the majority of my day working on projects for two classes which consisted of almost 8 hours worth. Today has been no different. I rose early due to the neighbor's dogs barking and even though my work has been minimal, InDesign is still open and I am fighting with my designs.

Last night when I got back from class I spent the remainder of my night chatting away on AIM and picking away at my designs like tar in my teeth. No, I don't smoke. It is just a good analogy. So my hind-quarters are starting to hurt because I haven't left my chair except for that eating thing and using the facilities. I think if I tried to get up, I would find that my body has melded with my computer chair. The title of this post comes from a band called Killswitch Engage and the song is called "My Curse" off of their 2007 album, As Daylight Dies. It is stuck in my head because it is on Guitar Hero III. Speaking of GH.

Last night I couldn't sleep and then I got up this morning, and while my computer was warming up I played more GH III. Haha, that makes it sound like a drug. I got through the second to last set on hard and then decided to come back to my computer and begin design work. I avoided getting online because the internet has been acting up all day. As it is right now, I am saving after every paragraph just in case I go to publish and the wireless dies again. Well as you can see above, I have decided to use my own images more now that I am designing layouts. I should be getting better with my point-and-shoot camera so I can become better in my field overall. Oh well. That is it for now. Onto more InDesign work. Adobe, if you are out there, I need a job.(Wink)

Dangerous Business Since 1986

2007-11-14T15:10:00.000-08:00

I have come to the same conclusion as Ms. Puddin', that I have nothing to write about these days. There is too much going on in my life to find time to sit down and come up with something creative, other than what I have done in the past few days. I seldom speak of the things I do, but I haven't done it in a while, so I will describe my awesome weekend in Arizona visiting my girlfriend.

Have you ever just been in a funk? Well last week was like that. I was sick on Monday and didn't feel one hundred percent until Wednesday. Then I spent the remainder of the week doing work for classes in order to have nothing to do for the long weekend. My goal was accomplished but I was more exhausted than an asthmatic after running the mile.

I drove to my parents house after my night class on Thursday in order to get picked up by a car to take me to Oakland airport the next morning. My flight was early in the morning, 9a.m. Well, that is early for me. I had trouble keeping my eyes open, but was unable to fall asleep due to the large man that sat next to me. I don't understand it either. It was a Southwest flight, you know, the one where you pick where you want to sit. Who would want to sit next to me? A shady, up-to-nothing college student with a hefty pack full of electronic equipment.

I tried to reach my iPod, but the hefty man made that impossible. I was lucky enough to have put my copy of Wired in the seat pocket in from of me. It kept me occupied until we got to San Diego where I had to de-plane and board the connecting flight to Tuscon. On the second flight I was able to sit with no one next to me, but I was too awake from the whole experience that I just didn't bother trying to sleep.

So this past weekend I got to spend an amazing amount of time with my girlfriend. We went to some great restaurants, some of which I wish were here in the South Bay. We rented Fracture, which was a great movie. We also went and saw American Gangster, which was also a great movie, long but great. My girlfriend also took me to see the University of Arizona Icecats (their hockey team) pummel the Long Beach State 49ers. If you can't tell, I love hockey, and it was awesome to go with her, since she had never been to a hockey game before.

I was sad that I had to go home, it felt like a short amount of time spent together but I am not going to complain about the opportunity to travel for the weekend. So it is only a week from Thanksgiving tomorrow, and I couldn't want to start a diet more. Maybe it will be my New Year's resolution. You know... after I eat all that great holiday meals. After we finish the eleven pounds of left-over Halloween candy. Well I need to start working on my design project due tomorrow as well as the TOC and masthead for Access.

Long Long Way From Home

2007-11-09T00:08:00.000-08:00

I just finished up another difficult Thursday. Last night I spent most of my time editing papers and start and finishing my design project. The ones you have seen in the past. This week's was a "letter to the editor" page. Finally I caught a break. Men's Health magazine doesn't have such a page, instead they have a bunch of ask experts questions. So I grabbed my beloved Wired Magazine and was overjoyed that I could re-produce their letters, or "Rants" page. If you can't tell from my title, I like rants.

I spent most of my night working on the spacing as you will see if you look at my page below. I stayed up and messed around with it until it looked almost right. Then I got up the this morning and was at it again. Doing those little unnoticeable things that make it a step above ordinary. Also making sure Optimus Prime was happy in the upper left-hand corner.

I am going to Arizona this long weekend to see my girlfriend and get away from all the "workity-workity" I have been doing. After fighting off a cold and still producing more than average work, I am ready for a break. And because I couldn't wait till Thanksgiving to visit her. I would like to thank Things-n-Stuff's "A" for making me the San Jose Shark's 2007 logo sticker. (Looks like the top left of my post) It is proudly displayed on my laptop for all to be jealous of. Anyway, I am going to bed so I can be up early enough to catch my flight. As always, comments and criticisms are encouraged. But go easy, this is my "Precious Wired" you are talking about.

MMORPG's: Like Cocain for Kids

2007-11-07T10:38:00.000-08:00

I am what you could call a reformed massive multiplayer online role playing game (MMORPG) player. I used to spend hours of my day letting my hind-quarters meld with leather of my computer chair, playing World of Warcraft (My undead warlock on Crushridge server). It became a waste of time and as many other World of Warcraft former players will tell you, "just not fun anymore." I kicked the habit over a year ago now, and I have to say that it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I had more time to do homework that I wasn't doing in the first place. I studied more and spent more time doing work to my best ability. I started writing more, which probably lead to the creation of this blog. If I was still raiding and PVPing, forget it, I would be two more years away from graduating and 200 pounds heavier.

Now that you know where I am coming from, I figured I could buy Guitar Hero 3: Rock Legends and be able to put it down, with all my mental power and all. Well I can't. I think I have found something more addicting than MMORPGs and that is rhythm games. I looked back on the games that I have played in the past and there are a few that stick out in my head that make me realize I was addicted way before I even thought possible.

I was one of the first kids in my neighborhood to have a Nintendo power pad. This is not a rhythm game, but many people know where this is leading to. I was also one of the first kids to have those flimsy Dance Dance Revolution plastic pads for Playstation. I was hooked on rhythm games and I didn't even know it yet.

The game room on my parent's house was built and upon its completion it was graced by the presence of our very own DDR machine. Thats right people, I own one. I played every day and just didn't think about how hooked I was. How nice to be hooked on something that is exercise. When I moved away to college I couldn't bring my machine with me, so I picked up Guitar Hero.
This became the fatal flaw of my rhythm game addiction. First I played the first edition, laughing at anyone who could achieve such high scores and beat expert songs. Heck, I couldn't even fathom hitting more than three buttons. Who needed four, or even five? Then Guitar Hero 2 came out and that was the final blow. I played that game more than Ellen Degeneres likes to dance on her show. It was phenomenal.

To make the long story short, I have purchased GH3 as you might have read before, and I still can't put it down. It has been more than a week and I find myself drawn to play it with every waking moment. I could see myself buying the next one, but now that Neversoft owns the company, I feel like they will pump out newer versions every year and destroy the series. I mean, look at Tony Hawk, what game is he on now? Eleven?

Can't You Hear Me Knocking?

2007-10-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

Like I mentioned before, Halloween is my second-least-favorite holiday. Yes there is free candy and costumes and if you live in Santa Barbra, ST D's and Blackouts. But still it is not in my top five. I should have been motivated earlier on in the week to finish my InDesign project for my magazine design class, but like usual procrastination got the best of me. As well as Guitar Hero III. (Link is to a flash site.)

I arrived home after class and realized that I could spend just two or three songs worth of time playing. I mean, I just wanted to face slash on expert mode, how hard could it be? So after three hours I put the game down and started working on the project I had started in class. While playing I got the pleasure of listening to room mates complain about stupid things and develop a headache, but work still had to get done.

I worked through the temptation to hop back on Guitar Hero and show them who really was a "rock legend," but I had to keep pushing through with the work, because soon the trick-or-treaters would be here. So I scarfed down dinner and then procrastination got the best of me. I went with my room mate to get more candy because we ran out.

We went to Safeway, where the candy was now on sale, and picked up a few bags. I was going to buy some Patron Silver to have for this weekend, but because of the 5.6 earthquake that rocked us in the South Bay, they had none to sell. So we went to the liquor store down the street from our place and picked one up. Best $50 investment I have made in a while. So anyway, got home, unwrapped it and then hid it away for the weekend.

Came back upstairs and churned out the rest of the project. This is my replication of Men's Health's table of contents. The photos are watermarked with other people's companies so they look funny, but oh well. Here it is.
Again, any comments or criticisms would be greatly appreciated.

Damn Orange Fret!

2007-10-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

I just read this on Ctrl-Alt-Del, and it sums up all my troubles with Guitar Hero. The character on the left is Ethan and he is the creator of Zeke, the character on his right, who is a robot constructed out of xbox and xbox 360 parts. His faithful but not fully understanding companion.

Push It To The Limit

2007-10-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

Everyone has experienced the pain of a crappy shopping cart. Many problems may be found with the carts: there are only three wheels, one of the wheels has not been oiled since oil was invented, an infant has pooped in or around the child seat area, someone has struck your cart with a vehicle in the parking lot, and anything else you could imagine being wrong with the carts. There seems to be no shopping cart that is even remotely enjoyable to push.

I believe that the crappy shopping cart adds to the frustration of shopping. Shoppers who settle for the hand baskets know what I am talking about. There is little frustration when it comes to finding and operating a little hand basket. Sure you can't put your forty pack of toilet paper in it, but at least you know that you won't be rupturing the ear drums of fellow shoppers with your squeaky cart, dubbed "Tin Man."

I understand that people who use the hand baskets are only shopping for a few things, but my post is not a way to help you fix your crappy cart, or tell you a way to fit your two weeks of shopping into a hand basket. Instead my post is to tell you that I had a completely, amazingly average cart today and it brightened up my day.

So there my room mates and I were, standing in front of the evil empire's fortress, #316. I don't know about you, but does anyone else always forget a kart until they are inside the store? (And I am going to spell cart, "kart", from now on because of my allegiance to Mario Bros.) I know... I am a nerd. Anyway, it took forever to find a kart.

When we re-entered we were instantly provoked by the candy section set up for Halloween. Halloween is my second least-favorite holiday, for your information. We each got a bag of candy to give out on Halloween to the children in our neighborhood. The only problem with that is, we might not have any candy left by the time trick-or-treaters ring our doorbell on Wednesday.

Sorry about the candy tangent. So my kart was just spectacularly average. I was thrilled. There was nothing obviously wrong with my kart. I glided from aisle to aisle with ease and comfort. Sure I didn't know what type of bacteria was on the hand grips, but I didn't care. I was happier than Tanya Harding with a steel pipe in her hands. I would like to tell you that I found something to rant about on this trip, but I was so overwhelmed by the outstanding, non-squeaking glory of my kart, that the negatives slipped my mind.

Next time you go shopping, donate to whatever cause they are promoting. I donated five dollars to breast cancer research today. I normally would, but I was more likely to give more, probably because my kart was just so exceptionally not disappointing.

How Much Is Too Much?

2007-10-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, my girlfriend gave me the idea for this post. She was shopping at Safeway and noticed that Diet Coke fridge 12 packs had a buy two get three free sale. I thought to myself, "Now that is one silly ass 'sale' they are having." How much soda does one person need to buy? I understand if you live with a group of people or your family, but that is just a lot of soda. It took me a while to get the courage to bring my camera into Safeway, but tonight on a quick trip for chili powder, I took my camera along and snapped a few sales that had me think twice about how much I was saving.

The first sale was for coke products, which was at buy two get two free, instead of three free. Cheap bastards. Sales are created so they can create a shortage of what was last week's surplus product. Pepsi has a sale one week, guaren-damn-tee it that Coke will have one the following. I just could never buy that much soda. I am personally trying to kick the nasty addiction, but I couldn't see me picking up four or five cases of soda and putting them on the conveyor belt. Is this the line to get adult diabetes?

So the other few products I took snapshots of were, the Campbell's Soup at Hand sale as well as Bumble Bee Tuna and Contadina Tomato Sauce. And this brings me to the title of my post: How much is too much? Honestly? Do you need to buy 40 cans of tomato soup so that when it is not on sale, you can think you stuck it to the "man." Sales like I said before are ways for companies to reduce the amount the store has in stock, in a way creating artificial shortages. People think they are saving money but their savings is just a way for the store to move the product.

Buy one get one free, two for six dollars, ten for four dollars, it doesn't matter what the sale is, you would be happy with the normal price anyway. A sale is just a reason to buy nicer things and think you are saving money. So the next time ramen noodles go on sale, think to yourself, "How much is too much?"

I would suggest that you take double paper bags the next time you go shopping, but I was informed that most Safeway stores frown or say they have run out of paper bags when you ask for them. So until then, get triple plastic.

What I've Done

2007-10-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

Today in class I finished my editor's page, which is for my newspaper/magazine design class that I am taking with professional magazine aficionado, Tim Mitchell. He is spearheading the class now that we have entered the magazine portion of the material.

For our first assignment he wanted us to re-produce an editor's page from a magazine we like to read. I had Wired, Motor Trend and Men's Health and the only one with a distinguishable editor's page was Men's Health. So I opened to page 28 to start diagnosing the project that I would have to undertake. The first words out of my mouth were, "Oh shit!" For such a tabloid magazine, I was surprised at the amount of design that went into their pages. My understanding of InDesign and Photoshop is limited and there were some things I was going to need help with. One of those things as you will see in my design were the top header bar and the bottom page and label bar. They took the longest amount of time to do.

Here is my re-production of the Men's Health editor's page. I don't know if the real one is online, but I forgot to scan the real one today so you could see what it looks like. Oh yeah, thanks to Andrew and Megan for helping me get InDesign figured out.
So once again, I ask you for your comments. I spent a total of six hours on this, trying to get it right. The images and text are purely of the placeholder variety. Literally, seriously.

Thanks for Nothing

2007-10-22T23:36:00.001-07:00

I am about to write a blog about nothing. I didn't get to blog this last weekend because of studying, a bachelor party, and an NFL football game. So here it goes.

Thanks for nothing she said. I had this dream about a love eternal, but I couldn't breathe. I felt a little bit lonely, but I couldn't get the theme song for H Street out of my head. Simple pages were in my mind and it seemed to anger the bloody rage of the titans. I was told to be somebody, but I continued to ask, Hear You Me? I would say I told you so, but that would be a fire coming out of the monkey's head.

Weapons of mass distortion kept me awake, making sleeping a,here without you, moment. But I was A.S.A.O.K. with the thoughts of let you down memories. Uptight feelings lead to a downpour of emotion that could only have felt like tonight. New York, NY was where I wanted to go, but holding me back was the drugs for me.

I told myself she will be loved but I couldn't run from the singled out, kiwi, form of not being myself. Our time is now, and nothing but backwards could take that away. Bad stone is the reason the white boy is back and we just hope to dial nine-one-one to anyone. Good riddance to all the people that do not believe comin' back is an option. 10,000 days is too long, by the way there was a Stockholm syndrome case of frightening Sunday's best.

I have a secret I wish to share with you. Hyper music is the reason fidelity and helping the poor exist. Bliss makes me bad and only makes me feel starless. Someone should issue a missing person's notice for sun rays and Saturdays. Back to the good old days when we were broken, escape, six, and "I'm like a lawyer with the way I'm trying to get you off."

I believe I am getting tired of this growing stronger and into something like a song for the deaf. Stories like these make you want to look at what you've done and just add a --The End--

I needed to write something and so I did. So I wrote a story using my motivation, my girlfriend and the songs on my random iTunes list. I took a song name and then wrote a partial sentence, then added another song name. Song titles are in alternating bold and italics. I tried to change them slightly to make this grammatically correct. So if you read this far, you are probably thinking... Thanks for nothing.

Autobots ... Rollout!

2007-10-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

I just bought Transformers: The Movie on DVD and I have to say, I couldn't be more excited. When the movie came out in theaters I ended up seeing it three times. Not because of anything related to not seeing the whole movie, but solely because I didn't mind seeing it again.

So I went to target and bought the movie yesterday and was slightly disappointed with what I bought. Not the movie, but when I opened the package and put the DVD in my player, it seems that you have to buy the special edition package in order to get the behind the scenes footage and anything else other than just the movie. In the package I bought for $25ish dollars, I got the DVD and a small comic book that prefaces the movie. On the DVD there was only the choice of playing the movie or selecting the scenes and languages. Yup, like I said before, nothing extra.

Back to the movie. I grew up watching the cartoons and even though it is not true to the form, the director Michael Bay made an honest attempt not to destroy our childhood memories. If anything my peeve with the movie, is that Shai LaBeouf is the lead roll. There is no reason that he should be lucky enough to get and drive around in the 2009 Chevrolet Camaro prototype. It just isn't fair. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am the rightful owner of the first production model to roll off the assembly line in Detroit. So here is a little clip from the movie.

Down On The Street

2007-10-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

The title of this blog comes from a song on Rage Against the Machine's album Renegades which was produced in 2000. The song title works well with this post because I have been inspired by a conversation about illusions. I like to consider myself an "artsy" person, but just when I thought I was good at something, I saw something that made me consider going back to art school.

The discussion began with a website that tells you which side of your brain you use more. I would link it, but I don't remember the Web site. So after seeing the test, I thought about the types of illusions I used to enjoy when I was younger. The "young or old woman" example came to mind; I would put the image in, but I want to save space for the better examples.

So I was looking online for illusions and there was an image of a sidewalk painter who creates visual illusions, some of which I have to show you:

In these examples the artist has placed himself in the image, more specifically with the one on the right. I like also how he has created an edge on the concrete, making it look like this is going on below the pavement. For the "Batman and Robin" art, I love how he used the wall to be a part of his artwork, as a window sill outside of the burning building. In the above image he also impressed me by using the stairs as part of his waterfall. It just shows that a lot more went into this are than the idea and time.

Sidewalk art has always been an amazing sight to see in person, but never have I ever seen anything this extreme or well thought out. In these samples you can see that more has gone into the art than the thought. The placement and incorporation of the surroundings is awesome. So these images have made me a little more interested in picking up my sketch pad again. Seeing something like this on the street would just make me stare in awe for hours.

I really like this one with the sailboat. You can see the reflection of the surrounding buildings in the water. Absolutely amazing. Everything about this one is just great, I was mainly drawn in by the way he makes the ground look like it moves into a sinkhole where the water has gathered. I can't say enough about how much I like this type of art.

A Day In The Life

2007-10-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

The song title for this post comes from The Beatles 1967 album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. It makes sense for this post because I haven't posted since my sleep deprived night a couple days ago and also because I have been busy. One of the things that has been keeping me busy is my newspaper and magazine design class. We only meet once a week but all week i practice and work out the details for creating a decent page, in my case it was for my midterm I took on Thursday. It was the final portion of the newspaper design portion and we had two hours to pick the news stories, design the page and add promos if we wanted. This is what I came up with using inspiration from the slightly un-orthodox newspaper the Los Angeles Times.
So thats what I came up with. Not so bad for my second major project on InDesign. Let me know what you think. Sorry about the quality. It looked better in acrobat reader.

Insomnia: Now I Gotta Let You Know

2007-10-10T03:26:00.000-07:00

"What's got me insane oh-oh
Cause I can't stand the rain eh-ey
It's hitting my window pane
A little too much
And now I gotta let you know..."

Yes I know that it's a lyric from a rap song. In fact it is called "The Rain" by Akon off the Konvicited album, and I am too tired but too awake to look up the year it was made in. So I am up at this glorious hour of the morning because I am having trouble sleeping. The rain has decided to fall and instead of it being an absolutely wonderful experience, I have found some flaws with the house I live in.

The gutters might be clogged and the wretched noise that they make when water is trying to drain off the roof it just awful. It sounds like someone is releasing diarrhea in the bathroom adjacent to my bedroom. Not to mention, not only is it coming from our house, but if I open my window to let in some of the cool air, I have to deal with the same noises coming from my neighbors house. Which one? All of them. This is proving to make me and insomniac.

I have bit my daily limit of fresh necks on the vampire application on Facebook and I have fought and defeated most of the chumps that I can for one day. They funny part is I will have nothing to do to kill time tomorrow between classes. This is just absurd. I have never had this much trouble falling asleep. In my trip to Arizona last weekend, I was sharing a bed with my girlfriend, and even though I hadn't done that in a long time, it was still easier to fall asleep. Even with the "where do i put my arm when we cuddle face to face?" predicament. So I am awake, and at this point, staying up all night sounds like a better idea than going to sleep for three or four hours.

This post obviously has nothing to do with working at Safeway and if you have read this far, you should have figured it out by now. But, I am getting tired of holding my keyboard on my lap in bed hoping to make myself tired. Ugh, but in the paraphrased words of Akon, sometimes I can't stand the rain... its got me insane. Night all you other insomniacs. I will try to go to sleep now.

"I Helped Hemmingway Write Like He Did"

2007-10-08T19:52:00.000-07:00

My trip to Arizona last weekend was amazing. I got to finally have a weekend to enjoy. While there I went shopping for some alcoholic beverages and went to Safeway. Did you know there are drive-through liquor stores there? Anyway, I couldn't find the Jagermeister. I was disappointed, but ended up getting the Sky Vodka as a "safe" choice. I was astonished at the number of college aged folks who were in the liquor isle browsing with me. So I looked in the "cabinet" and I didn't see the jagermeister and it kinda pissed me off. Also that cabinet makes you look like an alcoholic, because they have to get someone to go over there and get the booze for you.

So, I have decided that unless it's a matter of price, I am going to go shopping for alcohol at stores other than Safeway. You look endlessly through the thousands of types of vodka and forget what color alcohols are supposed to be. Like in my last post, it's used to confuse you. Oh yeah, do not try to buy alcohol with anyone who isn't twenty one, because everyone in your "group" must be of age, otherwise you are "supplying for minors" even if it is your little sister with cereal and milk. This process singles you out as well and forces you to make several trips tot he store. I would go on an environmental rant but thats is saved for another post.

If you like wine and buy it from Safeway, there is a good method of wrapping the bottles (along with skinny, wine bottle like bottles of other alcohols made of glass) in order for them to be transported home safely. First take out a paper bag and prop it open. Grab another paper bag and rip it in half, from side to side (across the writing) and use the pieces of paper to wrap the bottles. Then place them in the open paper bag or plastic you have a lot and prefer handles. Safeway used to have carrying cases for six or fewer bottles, but their cheapness got in the way. So until next time, bag it yourself.

The title of this blog is a line from the song "Alcohol" by Brad Paisley on his 2005 album Time Well Wasted. I don't think it needs any more explanation than that.

Feel Like Rain

2007-10-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, the title of this entry is "feel like rain." Not Feels like rain. Its the third track on Motion City Soundtrack's 2005 album Commit This To Memory. So today after my night class I headed to Safeway to get a new shampoo, shaving cream and soap, because I was running low. As I was looking down the isles to find what I was looking for I remember another thing about Safeway that bothers me.

I am getting ahead of myself. Let me set up the situation. First of all, it's raining and that makes me upset. Don't get me wrong, we need a little rain here because everything is dieing from the heat and I am starting to get annoyed with wearing shorts. So it is raining and that also means that I have to drive slower in order not to spin out around corners and spin the tires coming off of a green light. So when I was headed to Safeway I slowed down and tried to remember the things I needed to get. Now to the main event.

As I entered the store, I was instantly greeted by the extreme amount of Halloween candy. I guess I shouldn't care, but it has been out since September first, and that is a little crazy. It is still at the end of this month, which I can't even think about right now. So I passed up the diabetes isle and made my way to the personal hygiene isle. I found the soap and shampoo and stood in the isle feeling small compared to the gargantuan selection of bars of soap. Then I realized that I hate how being in Safeway makes you forget what you went there to get in the first place. As I searched for the bars of Dial soap I felt overwhelmed by the large variety of soaps. I looked top to bottom and couldn't find it. There is a soap for sensitive skin, dry skin, itchy skin and flaky skin, but there wasn't a damn bar of soap for normal skin.

Once I found the Dial I had to decide which sent I wanted... Is there a reason for more than "soap" scented soap. I mean do I have to smell like something other than soap? Scents are becoming ridiculous these day. I am waiting for Axe to come out with a scent called "Male stripper's g-string." That will be the day I start washing myself with soap bars I steal from hotels. So finding the shampoo was easy because it was right behind me. So I picked it up and headed to the check stand. So I pay for my goods, and head out the door.

I stepped one foot into my house and realized, I had went to Safeway and forgot the one things that I went there for in the first place... Shaving cream. I went into the bathroom and cursed the Safeway distraction gods for making shopping and working there such a living nightmare. Now I am packing for my trip to Arizona and I will have to pick some shaving cream up when I get there. That or rough it for a few days. Anyway, until next time, keep asking for double papered bags. Courtesy clerks love that!

So it begins

2007-09-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
Yes, today I went on a Safeway. And this marks the true start of my blog's content. But before we get to that, I have something to say. I am glad that I didn't work for Costco, because today we needed some things that would last us more than a week for our house, and that place is so easy to pick apart.

Now to the main course. Today was a fine day to go shopping, the weather sucks, the kids were all still in class and the rent was due, so writing a larger check wasn't such a big deal. When I worked for Safeway, they were in the process of modernizing the look of their stores in an attempt to make them all look the same, much like Target did in order to make stores familiar to all shoppers no matter where they needed to shop. Well Safeway has done this, but has neglected to keep isles in the same order. When i worked it was a routine to know which isle was for what and what items were in that isle, that way when someone needed to know where something you could tell them or take them to the item.

So we were looking for cornbread to make when we have chili. We ended up finding it, but there is a specific section the mixes are usually in. In the store that I worked in the mixes for the corn bread was in the baking isle toward the back next to the powdered puddings. I was looking for the cornbread mix as I was walking along the open refrigerated meat displays when i passed four different isles. I looked back at my room mates with a puzzled look.

We gave up looking for it temporarily and moved onto the cereal selection. After picking up the Honey Nut Cheerios and the Frosted Flakes I realized what my confusion was. In the baking was reversed. Why couldn't they just make all the stores the same? No they just have to make you spend three times as much time you want to spend in the store, trying to remember where things are.

If Safeway's intention was to make all the stores the same to improve customer recognition of the where items are, then why do this. My belief is that Safeway planned this in order to increase the amount of impulse buys. The lines are also longer and have more useless items in them as well fewer of those lines open, but that is another story in itself.

The new store design is dimmer and makes things seem more sophisticated. The new look really doesn't change the fact that their attempt to make all the stores the same has failed anyway. Any two stores you compare will have something different about them. It could be something as simple as moving the location of the spices to isle 20, or something more noticeable as reversing the order of isles from bakery to produce. This post is dragging on, next time I will make sure to get to the point faster next time. But I have to charge the laptop battery and make my way to the Oakland Athletics game.

So until next shop, always take help out to your car. Offer to tip the person who helps. If they accept say you are a secret shopper and that if they take it they will get fired. Watch the expression on their face. They aren't supposed to take it because of a union policy.

Slow Cheetah

2007-09-27T23:48:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot. Congratulations to Casey Stoner, the youngest person to win the MotoGP Championship since last season's winner Nicky Hayden. The twenty-two year old, Australian native officially became Champion on Sunday, September 23, 2007. He captured the title for himself and Ducati with three races remaining in the season, a truly remarkable accomplishment. Congratulations. Oh and ladies, sorry... but he is already married.

Slow cheetah is playing by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, off of their 2006 album "Stadium Arcadium." Not the greatest, but works in a mother's-brother's-uncle kind of way.

Till next time, paper in plastic.

Back In Your System

2007-09-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
I am not new to the blogging scene, but my rants and raves had become too much for my room mates. They urged me to start blogging again because they think my stuff is too funny to lay on deaf ears. This blog, from its title will be about my experiences as a Safeway employee as well as my ideas/concerns with the grocery chain when I shop in their stores.

My blog will not be dedicated to vocally bashing this grocery conglomerate, but it will also include the completely random, bizarre, insane, unthinkable and possibly true things I encounter day to day. As I did before, the post title will be a song that I hear randomly on itunes while I am writing. In the past this has worked well, making for some great titles. This particular song is, "Back In Your System", the title track from Saliva's 2002 album Back In Your System. Oh yes, and I will explain what it is, just like I did.

I debated making this blog because I still struggle to have time to write anything that isn't on deadline. And even with those, I procrastinate. But I have been trying to make changes in my life for the good. For those who already know me: I have been complaining less, unless it comes to Safeway. Working out has made me feel better about myself. And I have been working on my time management skills.

So there is no rant about a Safeway this post. I haven't been shopping this week and frankly, I am a little to tired to make things up. Besides, my best material comes after a long, boring shop with the room mates. I am probably going tomorrow, so prepare yourselves for the debut. Till then, this is the bag boy saying: "Paper of plastic?... go bag it yourself!"